The Pee Test

I usually am not one to scrutinize when the "monthly visitor" will or will not arrive. I generally have a pretty good idea and I've never been on a very rigid cycle. So when six weeks had passed and still nothing, I started getting paranoid.

My husband and I were suppose to go to a family dinner as soon as I got home from work. I told him I was going to change clothes and then be ready to roll. He took the dog outside and I ripped open the pregnancy test. This should be very simple. Hold the stick in the urine stream for 5 seconds and wait for it to come up with the result of "Pregnant" or "Not Pregnant."

It should, however, be noted that peeing on a stick, in a cup or anything other than straight down into the toilet is very difficult. We have no way to aim! Plus when you are stressed and trying to WATCH what you are doing you greatly increase your chances of having it go everywhere but in the toilet.

I managed through it and waited. Didn't even pull up my pants. I just sat there and waited while the little hour glass on the screen did flippy floppies. Then it happened. A single word appeared on the screen... PREGNANT. It was almost like it was screaming at me. Thank God I was still sitting down.My husband was still outside with the dog. How would I tell him? I've heard many elaborate stories, but I'm FREAKING OUT. Apparently this ruins my creative spirit and I decided to go with the band-aid approach.

So I waited in the kitchen for my husband to come in with the dog. He came in and I said, "I need to show you something." Then I handed him the test. He turned white. Then his jaw hit the floor. Then he said "Holy Shit" for the next 15 minutes. I half expected to curl up in a ball in the corner and start rocking back and forth. To be fair, he was completely clueless about my suspicions and completely blind-sided. He recovered and started calling me his "Baby-Mama" for the rest of the night.

We always said that if it happens, it happens. This worked well for several years. Now, it has happened. We've decided not to tell family and most friends until after the first trimester. I did speak to one friend about this and she recommended the blog, which will stay anonymous until we start telling people.

Stay tuned. I'm sure this will get interesting.