One Month!

Today is Evan's one month birthday. We've learned quite a bit about our little guy and how to take care of him during that time. It helps that he's a pretty easy going baby boy. He only really fusses a little at night before his last bottle and when he is HUNGRY!

Evan at one day old and at one month

Before jumping into our tales of the past month, let's take a break to go back to the beginning. Many have asked about the name of our blog, Unplanned Parenthood. He wasn't planned. It doesn't mean he wasn't/isn't wanted. While we were initially taken off guard when we found out Evan would be joining our family, but can't imagine life without him now.

So where did the name come from? Well, like I said, Evan wasn't planned. We weren't focusing our efforts on getting pregnant. See, when Brian and I got married, we took the attitude of "if it happens, it happens." And, because I had concerns about taking birth control, we decided that since we were married, we didn't need to worry about that. After nearly four years "without a goalie," you don't really think about or worry about pregnancy. So we were caught off guard when I found out I was pregnant. He wasn't planned. So the whole title is just a funny little reminder that the best things in life aren't planned - and I thought it was hilarious when a friend suggested it after I told her I was pregnant.

Sleeping: Everyone always asks how Evan is sleeping. Well, I think he's doing great. He will sleep anywhere from 4.5 to 6 hours in a night. Now, Brian and I working on getting him on solidifying an evening schedule, so he wakes up at a more consistent time in the morning. This will be great for when I go back to work next month.

The fact that Brian and I keep different hours is a good thing, too. He takes the last feeding which is around 11:30 or midnight right now and I usually go to bed around 9-10ish. Evan will wake me up anywhere between 4:00 and 5:30 usually. This is a great schedule because when I do go back to work, I can feed him, put him back to bed, get ready for work and leave and then Brian will have him when he wakes up again around 9.

Eating: Baby boy has made the transition to straight up formula. During the day, he eats between every 2.5 to three hours. Thing that alarms me the most. We started feeding Evan formula and when we would make formula, we would do it a bottle at a time, following the directions on the package. Well, he only eats about 1/2 a bottle's worth of formula in one setting, so we would put the rest in the fridge and use it for the next time he was hungry. We received a babycenter.com update and when I started reading it was going on and on and on about how you absolutely should not, under any circumstances, keep formula in a bottle your baby has drunk out of. Apparently, it can build up bacteria and make your baby sick. WHY DIDN'T THEY HAVE THIS ON THE FORMULA CAN?

Parents: I've finally relaxed. I've figured out that if he starts crying because he is hungry, we don't have to run to pick him up and then try to get everything ready. He's going to keep on crying whether he is in his crib or not. So go ahead and start warming up the bottle, go to the bathroom or use the 10 minutes to sweep some floors or change out laundry real quick. You have to multi-task!

It is hard to go to sleep though. I still hear the phantom baby sometimes. I still can't nap during the day, but don't really need to since I'm getting a full night's rest most nights. I also figured out that there is a reason you are not cleared to go back to work for at least 6 weeks. I get tired fast!

My body seems to be mostly healed and feeling back to normal - except for the whole fatigue thing. I have managed to injure my left shoulder since bring Evan home and my back still hurts quite a bit. However, we keep going on our daily walks (if weather permits) with Truman and if my back hurts too much, its a shorter walk using the stroller. If it doesn't hurt too badly, then I'll use the Baby Bjorn and really wear Truman out! The shoulder isn't anything incapacitating, it just hurts to lift my arm above my head sometimes.

Intellectually and emotionally, I think I'm doing okay. I don't think I've had any of the post-depression issues, but Brian would be a better judge of that. I know I was and still am moody/irritable, but I attribute that mostly to nights when Evan wakes up earlier than what we have become accustomed to. - Is it possible a one-month-old baby can spoil HIS parents? - Besides, if I can sweep the floors, change laundry, do the dishes, fold laundry, sterilize bottles, make a new batch of formula and catch up on the latest episode of Grey's Anatomy during ONE of his naps, shouldn't everyone be just as productive? :)

On days when I don't have the opportunity to interact with other adults, I think I start going a little crazy. Evan isn't exactly a great conversationalist yet and he is not too interested in discussing current events. You will know which days I am going crazy because I am imitating The Muppets' Fozzie Bear nonstop.

Wacka Wacka Wacka!

For month two, I'll probably do Bunsen and Beaker!

So far, so good. We'll see what the next month has to offer!

Godspeed, Little Man...

Evan has been a bit of a bear to put down at night over the past couple days, maybe the past week. Seems every night around 9:00 he turns into Mr. Fussybutt and just wants to scream and cry. This will lasts usually until midnight. Our routine is that I take the late night shift...I will do his 9:00 and midnight feedings. He has been sleeping from 12:30am to about 4:30 or 5:00am, and Linda will take the early morning feedings. This worked great last week... However, a few nights this week I had to let him cry himself to sleep. That is so hard. I so badly wanted to hold and comfort and console him...but he just wasn't having any of it. No matter how much I fed him, burped him, checked his diaper, rocked him, read to him...he just wanted to scream.

During the day, he's a snuggle bug and loves to cuddle up and sleep. He has absolutely no problem going to sleep and napping during the day. We try not to let him sleep anymore than an hour so he doesn't get day/night confusion...but I think it's too late for that. We are now working on trying to keep him alert and awake so he gets on a more regular schedule.

I began to feel that I wasn't a good father...or that he was turning against me. I know that sounds crazy. But I went back to work last week... It seemed since I work during the afternoon and evenings, I don't usually get home til around 9:00pm...about the time he get's his diapers in a bunch. I began to think that he had forgotten who I was...and that maybe he felt I was a stranger... All he wanted to do was cry.

I'm worried that it's colic...but Linda doesn't believe it is. We've had to start supplementing formula with him...so that probably has a lot to do with it. Last night was so bad, that his crying was getting to me and it woke Linda up. She had to take over and get him to go to sleep.

So my anxiety was heightened tonight. Linda had a much deserved girls night out with her friends...leaving me alone with Evan for the longest time since he was born. I was worried that he would go into another crying fit and I was preparing for the worst. Especially since I had to let him sleep a bit longer in his swing than I had wanted, due to me boiling water, sterilizing his bottles, and mixing his formula in the kitchen.

Nine o'clock came and I needed to rouse the beast to get a bottle down him. He woke briefly and guzzled down about 3.5 ounces. I burped him as I usually do...usually after about every ounce or so... He started to get a bit fussy... Out of nowhere, a Dixie Chicks song popped in my head. Luckily I had it stored in my phone...so I played it for him...and sang it to him. He seemed amazed. He focused on my phone's light...and the music coming from it. He would look over to me as I sang...

He got a bit sleepy eyed...and I took him to his bedroom... After a diaper change and another big burp session, I rocked him in his glider and played and sang this song to him again... He drifted into and out of alertness...and we had a special moment. I'm not one to tear up at the drop of a hat, but this song tugs at your heart strings... I kept this song on repeat...and sang it to him over and over. He drifted off to sleep in no time... I placed him in his crib and kissed him goodnight...still singing this song. He was sleeping soundly...and still is an hour later. This time last night I was about ready to pull my hair out. Tonight, I feel refreshed and that I think I know what I'm doing as a father.

This is mine and Evan's song, from now on (skip to the song, at about 1:46 into the video):

Lessons Learned

Evan turns three weeks old tomorrow. Here's what I learned in the past three weeks.

Lesson One: Don't run to change the baby's diaper after the first fart. This is a not-so-fun game that Evan likes to play with us. You hear, smell and feel the poop going into his diaper and get up to go change him. Well, as soon as you slap that new diaper on you will hear 5 more farts and soon poop is oozing out of that brand new diaper. So you rush to get a new diaper going and when you remove the dirty one, he starts pooping - and sometimes peeing - some more. Today, Brian said he had the poop that wouldn't end. We are averaging about 3 diapers per changing, but that is down from four last week. We are learning.

Lesson Two: Costco generic brand formula is essentially the same as the Enfamil and Simulac brands. Compare the back of the labels on nutritional values and ingredients. Same. What's different? The price. Costco brand formula gives you 2 cans for $20. Or, go ahead and go with the name brands and pay $30 for one can.

Lesson Three: Don't forget to EAT. I know this is funny coming from me considering I turn into a monster when my blood sugar gets low. (Think about those new SNICKERS commercials that I think are pure GENIUS - particularly the one with Aretha Franklin.) At our first pediatrician's appointment, that was one of the things he stressed was making sure Mom didn't forget to eat. Well, it's not that I forget to eat. It's that I don't have time to eat. When Evan goes to sleep, I have a list of stuff I want to get done. Like, pump, laundry, baby laundry, fold laundry, shower, brush teeth, sweep, clean living room, dishes, clean bottles, let the dog out, etc. You can't squeeze all of that in during one or two or even three nap times. All of a sudden, you are warming up a bottle again and realize, "Hey, I'm STARVING!" So, since the bottle isn't warmed up yet, you scarf down some cold cuts and cheddar cheese without even bothering with bread (or closing the refrigerator door) because it's faster that way.

Lesson Four: Sleep when the baby sleeps. Crap advice. Nobody follows it because it's impossible. You are awake. You got stuff you want/need to get done. If you are lucky like me and have a wonderful husband who was off work for two weeks, then you can steal maybe one nap during the day time. Since Brian has gone back to work, it's either go for a walk or take a nap. I choose walking because I have expensive business suits that I need to be able to get back into in 6-8 weeks and don't have money to buy a new work wardrobe for my enlarged butt. Plus, I really miss wearing professional attire. I don't know why. I always thought I was a jeans and t-shirt kind of gal, but sometime during the last 10 years that seemed to change...

Lesson Five: The Boob Nazi's might have had something with this whole three-hour feeding schedule. The wells are running dry and we are having to supplement with formula. Part of me wishes this wasn't so, the other part is ready to get my boobs back to normal again and be able to wear comfortable bras (do they really exist?). I started skipping pumping sessions to correlate with our established sleep schedule. Evan eats around 8-9 p.m. and then again around 11:30 before going to bed at about midnight. Brian takes care of the last feeding of the night before putting him to bed. For the past week, Evan will sleep from midnight until about 5 a.m. Awesome. I would get up and do the morning feeding and then pump after that.

If you want to feed your baby breast milk for longer than 3 weeks, I recommend pumping every three hours like the Boob Nazi's instructed. Then again, this could be an isolated incident that affects only me. You have to do what works for you. That being said, I have a Medela portable pump (in a stylish black back that has a plug-in as well as a backup battery power) and all the accessories that will be for sale in the very near future. Let me know if you are interested.

I'm sure we will learn many more valuable lessons in the weeks ahead. Friday will be his first extended road trip (about 90 minutes - two hours) as we go visit Aunt Bridgett and his cousins for the day. He did well on the hour drive out to Grandma and Grandpa's over the weekend, so we'll see.

I'll try and be better about writing more frequently, but if it comes down to eating versus blogging, eating will always win out. :)

On our way to Grandma and Grandpas' house

The Nightly Ritual...

It seems Evan is a night owl. While most nights he goes to sleep okay, and he's been known to sleep in 4 to 5 hour stretches between feedings and diaper changes, he just doesn't wanna go to sleep when it's mom and dad's time to go to sleep. A few nights over the past week have gone something like this: (Note: These times are approximate, here in our household we do not follow a strict time regiment. We are not that perfect or anal-retentive.)

• 9:00pm to 9:30pm - Evan takes between 3 to 3.5 ounces. We try to burp him betwixt every ounce. At some point during this, Evan farts and poops his pants.
• 9:30pm - He usually goes into what we call the 'milk coma' when he drinks anything more than 3 ounces, it's almost automatic.
• 9:32pm - Get a clean diaper on Evan. He sleeps through the whole thing.
• 9:35pm - We attempt to swaddle him and lay him down in his crib for sleep. Through trial and error, we've learned that Evan likes to be swaddled, but he wants his arms free. I turn on his fan, night-light soother and turn off the light and close his door.
• 9:40pm - No sooner than I shut his bedroom door, he rouses and starts to fuss.
• 9:45pm to 9:50pm - Evan is wailing full tilt by this point. Linda and I listen attentively to the baby monitor, wondering when we should go back in or if we should give him another minute til he goes to sleep.
• 9:52pm - I go in there to see what the matter is... I pick him up... He's throwing punches and flailing his legs. He's pissed and has the most pitiful scrunched-up face.
• 9:55pm - I try to burp him, attempting to find out what is the problem. He lets out a hefty chunky burp with a little extra somethin'-somethin' that he was trying to save for later.
• 10:00pm - He zonks out again. I try to get up from the glider to put him back to sleep, but he wakes again and starts to fuss.
• 10:05pm - I think he's hungry, so I warm up another bottle and try to 'top him off'...
• 10:05pm to 10:15pm - He takes another half to full ounce.
• 10:15pm to 10:20pm - He drifts into and out of sleepiness...fighting sleep...and finally succumbs to it. I put him down again.
• 10:22pm - The beast rises again!
• 10:25pm to 10:45pm - He gets a violent case of hiccups. The kind that shakes his whole body. This pisses him off, and he cries and cries. Periodically he'll stop crying...and have a look of exhaustion and defeat on his face. It breaks my heart because there isn't anything I can do to make them stop. I just hold him and try to comfort him.
• 10:50pm - He poops his pants again, and I change him once again.
• 10:53pm - I forget to put a wet wipes over his wee-wee and he sprays himself in the face, gets me, the changing pad table (soaking the cover) and the wall.
• 10:55pm to 11:00pm - Sort through his sleep sacks to find another one that fits. He's grown to the point were he kinda still fits into the NB sizes, but they are a bit small and snug. The 0-3 sizes are still kinda loose and big yet.
• 11:05pm to 11:10pm - He fusses a bit more... He finally nods off. He sleeps til about 4:30am, and Linda has to repeat this process.

Funny thing is...this only happens when we are ready to go to bed. During any other point in the day, he'll nod off after eating, we'll lay him down in his crib and he'll sleep for a good hour or two without any fussing.

Linda & I are still trying to get this down, we're novices... Some nights are better than others. For the most part though, he's a great sleeper. Just this past week, almost every night has followed this timeline of events. We'll get it, eventually... I asked Evan to please be patient with us... He said he'd think about it.

Evan's First Bath!

Did I brush my teeth today?

We are finally settling into a bit of routine with Evan. Establishing this routine has taken a lot of work and patience. Every waking moment has been centered around establishing an eating, awake and sleep cycle for Evan. While he is sleeping, we are taking naps, showering and doing basic household chores. Sometimes I forget to go to the bathroom until I realize I need to go RIGHT NOW!

The other day, we realized we needed to run up to Target for a few things. On our way there, I realized I had not brushed my teeth that morning. I said out loud to Brian, "I don't think I brushed my teeth today." He thought for a second and said, "Yeah, I think I forgot, too."

We've been so focused on Evan and making sure he is eating, sleeping, getting his diaper changed, read to, tummy time, etc., that we forget to do basic things for ourselves, like shower and brush our teeth. But, we are getting better. Both Brian and I were able to shower today. Usually, its one or the other so we are going in the right direction.

Speaking of right direction, we took Evan to the doctor on Saturday. His eyes were all crusted over and it seemed like he had the beginning stages of a little cough. The cough was normal and nothing to worry about. The eyes appeared to be a blocked tear duct and we were given antibiotic eye drops. But, when we got to the doctor's office, they weighed Evan. He's back up to 9 pounds, 2 ounces! He's gaining weight!

Yesterday, his umbilical cord fell off. Our baby boy is getting bigger and bigger! Yesterday was also our first restaurant outing with Evan. He slept the entire time! Awesome. If we go in between feedings, we shouldn't have any problems for a little while.

We are almost through our first two weeks together. Time flies. I think, for the most part, both Brian and I are getting some pretty good sleep and nap opportunities. We've been ALOT more diligent about keeping the house clean, but we've also managed to have a "lazy day" with Evan, too. The steady flow of visitors has slowed. This also helps get us more into a routine.

I also had a funny moment. I realized that the only summer clothes I had were a single pair of khaki capris, a polo shirt (with a company logo on it) and about seven business suits. Since I won't be needing my business suits until June, I figured I should probably get some clothes I can hang out in. We took care of this the other day as well.

Fatherhood...

Fatherhood is a crazy thing...and I'm loving every minute of it. I haven't updated in awhile, but as many of you know, newborn care is quite time consuming... I'm catching on to it and cherishing the moments... When Evan falls asleep in my arms. When he looks me in the eyes and studies me. The coos he makes when he's eating.

The nurses told us that they wanted both of us to have skin-to-skin time, sometimes called Kangaroo Care, with him... It helps him thrive and get to know both of our scents...and it's a great bonding moment for all of us. This is my favorite thing to do with him right now. Evan usually melts right into you... It's funny when you lay him on your chest...and he kinda looks up at you with those big sleepy eyes...

Apparently it's a big milestone for infants to be able to lift their heads...but Evan did this right out of the womb. When Dr. Schieber placed Evan on Linda...he was screaming bloody murder, but was also lifting his head. His neck muscles have continued to strengthen, and he's now able to hold up his huge head a bit longer. He does this when we are snuggling a lot...

As Linda mentioned, Truman has done great with Evan...and is now his fierce protector. This picture has become my favorite of them...and will soon be blown up, framed and hung in Evan's bedroom above his dresser/changing table. We are thinking a 20x30.

Now, I'm worried. But you all know I'm a worrier. Yesterday, all day, I noticed and wiped away goopy, sticky, eye boogers in both of his eyes. It just got worse over the course of the day. Early this morning (Saturday) when I was feeding him, it was so crusted over that I had to use a warm wet washcloth to help him open his eyes. He's eating okay (in fact at 3.5 oz. this morning), sleeping okay, doesn't have a temperature, pooping and peeing okay...but these crusties are gross and its heart breaking to see him like this. We called our pediatrician (they operate weekend hours), and told us that it sounded like he has blocked tear ducts, which is common in newborns. They told us to massage his tear ducts and wipe away the crusties with a warm washcloth...and if there wasn't any improvement by Monday to call again. I just hate seeing him like this...

Summary of our first week together

Wednesday Night:

This was the night Evan was born. We didn't get out of the room of suffering until about 11:30 to be transferred to the mother-infant wing. The MI wing was completely full. On Tuesday and Wednesday night, 23 babies were born. They had to ship us off to the overflow rooms that haven't been redone yet. These rooms didn't have a shower (but they did have a toilet and sink), but the wing was QUIET!

By 12:30, we were settled in. We had the nurses take Evan back to the nursery. Everyone told us that, while it would be nice to have him in the room, it's also nice to get a little bit of sleep. We decided to take the advice of those who have been there and done that.

Thursday

Every muscle in my body hurt. You don't realize the muscles you need to simply sit up and stand up until they don't work, or are stitched up. It seemed as soon as I would fall asleep, a nurse would come in to mash on my stomach (NOT FUN), or try to get Evan to nurse. He wasn't interested at all in eating. I felt like I had been hit by a truck.

Like clockwork, the boob nazis came in with Evan every 3 hours to try and get him to nurse. He didn't until 4 p.m. that afternoon. I don't really remember much of the day. Grandparents and family all showed up, as well as a few friends.

Brian was not sleeping at all on the ridiculous cot thing that they pulled down from the wall (again we were in the wing that hadn't been remodeled yet, so it was absolutely 1960-70s). At about 4:30, he gave up when the boob nazis made another appearance and decided to go home.

That morning the pediatrician came in and stated the obvious. "You have a very big boy!" He also said, "He has a HUGE head! The average head is 12-13 centimeters around. His is 15."

Friday

This was the day we were able to go home, but not until the early evening. They have to do metabolic tests 24 hours after his first feeding to see if he has jaundice and other metabolic disorders. We met his pediatrician who circumcised him and informed us that Evan had a pretty accurate aim for a new born and nailed him in the operating room.

Since Evan's test wasn't until about 4 p.m., we passed the time with trying to nurse - with mixed results. We were working with him during the afternoon and I sat him up to burb when I noticed something coming out of his diaper...

Yup. It was a big ol' nasty poop. He pooped on me, on the nurse and all over the bassinet that she had quickly moved him over too. She almost gagged. So did I. She told us later that was probably the nastiest she had ever had to clean up.

So let's recap the past 24-48 hours. We had the largest of 23 babies born on Tuesday or Wednesday night at St. Lukes. He has an above average head size (takes after his grandma), takes explosive poops and peed on the pediatrician. Maybe there is a lot more of my family in him than I originally thought.

My parents volunteered to bring over dinner for our first evening home. The whole family was there to greet us. It was great and also overwhelming. Then our toilet wouldn't flush. I was about to succumb to the frayed nerves of a baby that didn't want to eat, exhaustion, physical pain and chaos in our house.

I did get to hold my brand new nephew for the first time! Everyone was passing babies around so Brian and I could eat. When a calm finally fell over the crowd, we enjoyed a few moments of tranquility before everyone decided to pack up and leave so we could rest.

We introduced Truman to Evan after everyone left. The poor dog was so stressed out. He had been staying at my sister, Noreen's, house while we were in the hospital. Anytime he is away from home he stresses out, doesn't eat and gets really bad diarrhea. My brother-in-law brought him back on Friday afternoon and he was put in the laundry room (where he sleeps at night) when my whole family came in to keep him from going crazy with the commotion.

Poor dog thought he was in trouble. When I got home, I went back to see him and give him some reassurance and let him out. Friday night, he was pretty high-strung, but quickly calmed down. By Saturday morning, he was Evan's personal body guard, keeping an eye on anyone who came near him, held him or looked at him. He's not aggressive, just letting people know that Evan is HIS little boy, too. He desperately wants to give Evan kisses and has been successful in landing a few to the back of his head and feet. No big deal, we just don't want him slobbering up his face right now.

My sister-in-law volunteered to stay so she could tend to Evan if he got fussy, but wasn't ready to eat to let Brian and I catch up on some much needed sleep. It didn't happen, but we did figure out that a quality swing is worth its weight in gold. If only we had thought to use it sooner!

The boob nazis drilled it into my head that he absolutely, positively had to eat every three hours. No exceptions. And the three hours starts at the beginning of one feeding to the beginning of the next. So, if you have to work for an hour to get a full feeding in, then burb him and change him, you only get a 90-minute nap before the next time around.

Phantom Baby

Sometime on Friday night, I kept hearing the sound of a baby screaming. Since Steph had the monitor with her, I knew she would respond to him if he was screaming. But where was this sound coming from? Turns out it is all in my head. It is so faint a baby cry that I can't tell if it is just in my head or real. I just have to keep convincing myself that it isn't real. Then, I test the monitor and peak in on Evan just to be sure.

Saturday

I never developed any preferences for feeding during my pregnancy. My goals were to have a healthy baby (check) and keep him that way. I know breast milk is the best source of nutrition for him right now. But I never had grand dreams of him nursing and all of that. That's just not me.

Evan's chin is a little recessed right now and he has huge cheeks. His weight made him very hard to hold in the correct position no matter how many support pillows, boppies, whatever were used to prop up my arm. We couldn't seem to master it and he was getting frustrated. I was exhausted and getting stressed about him not eating. If we couldn't get him to latch on, then we would pump and use a syringe to get some food in his belly.

Also, I am the type of person that when I have a problem or challenge, I want to be left alone to figure it out. I wanted to be in Evan's room and try to figure out this whole nursing thing with him. I don't want anyone in there with me. Not my mom, not my sisters, not even Brian. Just leave me alone so I can relax and try to remember what the boob nazis showed me.

People were calling to come over, but we asked that we just have a day to ourselves to recover. And we did have ourselves a nice little Saturday. During the afternoon, Brian loaded up Evan in the stroller and took him and Truman for a walk while I grabbed a nap.

That evening, my mom came down to help us through the night.

Sunday

Sometime during the wee-small hours of the morning when Evan was turning purple from screaming and doing everything he could to prevent himself from nursing, I decided to give up and just give him a bottle. I had been pumping, so we tried that and guess what, IT WORKED!

He was happy, I was relieved and we all went back to bed a little more relaxed. Like I said before, the boob nazis drilled it into my head that HE MUST EAT EVERY THREE HOURS. During the night, this was the hardest thing to do. Have you ever tried to wake up an infant? We tried everything short of dunking him in cold water to get him awake to eat. During these times he would eat a 1/2 ounce here and a full ounce there. Not much. But he was eating and that was a considerable improvement over Friday and Saturday night.

We had visitors throughout the afternoon and I even managed to grab a power nap or two. Every says to sleep when the baby sleeps. That's a lot easier said than done. At some point, you are just awake and going back to sleep is just impossible. Now that we have introduced the bottle option, it is a lot easier.

Cute Story

Truman, who is terrified of anything that moves, suddenly has no fear of Evan's swing. When Evan is in his swing, Truman will get down from the couch every few minutes and go right up to it to peer in and make sure he is okay. We will try to get a picture of this, but it happens to quick most of the time. We really couldn't have asked for a better reaction to Evan than what Truman has given us so far.

Monday

We had Evan's first pediatrician appointment. I didn't realize how anxious I was for this appointment. Basically, we would be finding out if we were slowly starving the boy to death or causing some other catastrophic/developmental issue. When we got there, the nurse weighed him and he was 8 pounds 12 ounces. My heart sank. He was 8-14 when we left the hospital. If he lost more weight, he's not eating enough. But then the doctor came in and the first words out of his mouth were:

"He's a big baby and big babies tend to lose a lot of weight right after they are born. In fact, they can lose 10 percent, so he is looking good."

Relief! I wasn't slowly killing our son. We asked about pointers for waking him so he could eat. The doctor said, "If he is sleeping at night, LET HIM SLEEP! I'd only wake him if he hasn't stirred in about 5 hours. I would try and wake him every three hours during the day so he doesn't get day-night confusion."

We asked about bottle feeding. He said as long as he's eating it didn't matter to him. Everyone is different so we should do what works for us and Evan.

When we left the doctor's office, I felt like the whole world had been removed from my shoulders. We weren't slowly starving our son to death. He was healthy. He passed all of his tests.

We went home, ate and decided to do our first outing together (not counting the doctor's office) and go to Costco. Evan just finished eating and was sound asleep. It was a very efficient trip and Evan did great! So great that he pooped out of his diaper on the way home. So gross. But he didn't scream or cry and Costco is literally 5 minutes away - less than that if you get the stop lights.

That night we let him sleep. He ate at 2:00 a.m. and then didn't rouse again until about 6. It was awesome.

The boob nazis' (lactation specialists) main concern is that if you want to breast feed, you are giving yourself enough stimulation to produce an adequate supply of milk. Hence, the three-hour rule. The pediatrician's main concern is the health of the baby. And, as he informed Brian and I, sometimes that correlates directly with the health of mom, so it is essential that we both get enough sleep. I have a lot of friends who nurse directly, others bottled and still others went straight to formula for one reason or another. All of their babies are happy and healthy, so it just goes to show that it is important to figure out what works best for you and your baby.

Tuesday

Probably one of the closest things we have had to a "lazy day" since coming home. We took Evan on a long walk. This turned out to be a little much for me as my back was really barking at me afterwards. But the weather was so nice, you have to go out in it and Truman needs the exercise.

We noticed on the walk that Truman who always trots out in front, would slow down and stop whenever people were walking towards us. He watched them until they had passed by me and the stroller. He really is Evan's fierce protector!

That afternoon, Brian was changing Evan. I had been razzing him because he was the only one that escaped his monster poop in the hospital unscathed. Well, Evan evened the score. As Brian was preparing the gauze pad for Evan's circumcision area, all of a sudden a perfect fountain of pee shot up into the air, on Brian, over the side and onto the floor. Brian used the gauze he had just prepared to cover him before anymore could pass. Everyone warned us that boys would potentially spray us. I knew it was a matter of time.

Another revelation: Evan is like his mom when it comes to grumpiness and food. When he is hungry he will attack a bottle like a ravenous dog going after a T-bone. If you don't have it ready when he is hungry, he will turn purple from screaming. That's my boy. So we watch the clock for the three-hour feedings during the day and cry "alert" when it is time to get everything ready.

Evan's honorary aunt Abbie came by and brought dinner. She likes playing with his cheeks and somehow has convinced Truman that she has authorized access, because so far she is the only one he doesn't seem concerned about when holding Evan.

Today

Evan is one week old today. I think we are all starting to recover. Don't get me wrong, we are all still exhausted, but we are figuring it out. The hard part is once you think you have found something that works, some other little kink will come up or you'll find your trick only worked once. We worry Evan will get the day-night confusion, so we are working on sticking with a schedule as best as possible during the daytime. I have day of the week confusion. When we went to Costco, I thought it was Saturday. I think today is Thursday.

My recovery is going pretty well. My lower back is my biggest source of aches and pains right now. My left foot is still very swollen, but really not bad. I never filled the prescription I was given for percoset as I didn't think what pain I did have couldn't be managed with the prescription-strength Motrin I also received. Plus, I really don't like taking pain medication like vicotin or percoset or codene. I was pretty accident-prone in college and had all of these items prescribed to me at some point. They turn me into a zombie or put me in a very hard sleep. I don't think I need that while trying to take care of Evan. And, because of my accident-prone days in college, I have a pretty high pain threshold so it needs to be bad before I start wanting "the good stuff."

Brian also seems to be doing well. He is the constant worrier, but is also filling the role Dad beautifully. Putting together play yards and play gyms, looking up information, going to the store and changing more than his fair share of poopy diapers. The stress and disrupted sleep cycle has also taken its toll on him, but he handles it well. He also does a very good job dealing with me and my grumpiness.

Happy one-week birthday Evan!

The day Evan was born

Evan arrived on Wednesday, April 7 at 8:33 p.m. At the time of birth, he weighed 9 pounds and 3 ounces and was 21 inches long. I went to the hospital on Tuesday night to start having a few treatments done that would encourage labor to progress once the pitocin drip started on Wednesday morning. They worked! My water broke early Wednesday morning, I think around 6 a.m. So technically, I had 14 hours of labor, but I would only count from about noon on.

They wanted me to sleep Tuesday night, but that was hard to do. My friend, April, dubbed the labor and delivery room the "Room of Suffering." Tuesday night, I could hear why. First, baby alarms were going off everywhere. Second, every time I seemed to doze off, I would hear a woman who decided against the epidural deliver her baby. This made me feel a lot better about getting it.

One of my biggest sources of anxiety pre-labor was the whole process of getting the

epidural. I had a spinal tap a few years ago. Not fun. I think I'd rather dislocate my knee (again), separate my shoulder and break a rib all at once before doing that again. I had a bad time recovering/healing from the spinal tap and the treatments to cure it was essentially a reverse spinal tap. They basically take a huge amount of blood from you and then inject it straight into your back. This was 20 times worse than the actual spinal tap itself. The pressure feels like they are blowing out/up your whole lower back.

Essentially, the epidural was like the reverse spinal tap. A lot of pressure and it hurt. But it worked... at first. After a few hours, I started noticing that I felt pain from my contractions. At first just a quick little period right at the beginning of each contraction. Then, I started feeling full blown contractions. Except, I only felt them on my left side. My right side was completely pain free.

The pain doctor came back in. It was the head anesthesiologist that put it in the first time. Since it was after 5, a resident came in and the head doctor for the night shift supervised her. They first tried to adjust the epidural to see if that worked. They tried this twice. Not a painful procedure at all. They just pulled the little tube that distributed the medicine out a little bit. Then I had a choice. Just grin and bear it, or have them re-do the epidural. Now, these contractions were starting to get pretty powerful, so I decided one more moment of pain was better than what could be potentially several more hours. The resident did the procedure and I didn't even feel it! Better still, it worked.

Because I was only numb on my right side, I had to lay for most of the day on my left side to help encourage the drugs to flow to the other side. When I was completely numb, they let me roll over to my left side. This was much more comfortable. Brian and I were given orders to take a nap and let the pitocin work its magic. 30 minutes later, Brian woke from his nap to me calling the nurse asking them to get someone in my room because I was ready to push!

The nurse came in and checked me and discovered that I went from a 5 or 6 to a 9 in about 1/2 an hour. She called to ask that they start getting everything set up in the room. This is what seemed like the longest part of the day.

From Tuesday through Wednesday, 23 babies were born at our hospital. It was a busy night when I went in. Nurses and doctors were running around everywhere and basically, if they didn't need to catch a baby, you were a lower priority.

What was probably only 10 minutes seemed like 4 hours as a few orderlies started setting up the delivery table around me and preparing this, that and the other. My nurse came in to check me and it was time to start pushing. This was the weird part. Because then it was like a huge flood of emotion from pure terror to excitement passed over me all at once. I started crying and shaking uncontrollably. Whole body shaking. I hear this is normal and has a lot to do with hormones. Brian did a great job of encouraging me and trying to calm me down all at once. He said he thought I was having a seizure at first but the nurse didn't seem to react to it at all.

Apparently, I have very strong pushing muscles because the nurse paged my doctor after about the third or fourth one to get ready for actual arrival. 20 minutes after I started, Evan was here with 10 fingers and 10 toes and about 14 chins. He has fat rolls around his eye balls! And no, I did not have the gestational diabetes. Evan's size is a direct result of an 80-90 percent Mexican food diet for most of the pregnancy. Just about everything else made me sick. No doubt he is a big boy and, thankfully, he is very healthy.