So Much To Say...

Now that Dave Matthew's Band song will be stuck in my head the rest of the day...

Anyway, I can't believe it's almost been two months since either Linda or I have updated this poor neglected blog. Dunno if we still have any readers left! Lots and lots of things to share, I just dunno where to begin.

Let's see here, over the past two months - Evan got his first haircut; we transitioned him into a big boy bed and back again; we are house hunting; planning our cruise; and just working, working, working!

Life with Evan

It is crazy/fun - especially now that he's practically running and into everything! He is incredibly ornery. He's got a serious attachment to his toy ambulance that he got from his babysitter, Michelle & family. Most children have an attachment to a stuffed animal or blanket...but not Evan... If he knows his ambulance is nearby, he has to have it. He refused to take a nap the other day unless it was in his crib. He also screamed for it just the other day when I was trying to feed him lunch - I had to put it up on his tray so he would eat. It seriously rivals mine & Linda's addictions to our iPhones and iPads. (And you read that correctly, we now have "his & her's" iPads. I got Linda an iPad when they first came out for her 1st Mother's Day...she got me the iPad 2 for Father's Day this year!) He is definitely going to be a gadget geek, just like us. I dunno how he does it, but he has gotten his hands on my iPad on more than one occasion (when I thought it was out of reach) - and somehow looks at the pictures or starts iTunes on it. I dunno how he does it...it's got a passcode on it that you have to type in before you can look at anything! But his favorite iPad app is the Interactive ABC Flash Cards...he gets so excited and knows how to work the app. It's very cool!

1st Haircut

Evan got his first haircut last June. He was getting pretty shaggy, and was developing a baby-mullet. No child of ours will have a mullet. End of discussion. At the recommendation of a few friends, we took him to Sheer Madness in Olathe. They cut only kids' hair. They have cool barber seats made out of toy race cars, airplanes, etc. Evan did great, except when the stylist brought out the clippers to buzz around his neck line. It was amazing how much older he looked when he was done!

Big Boy Bed

Around mid-June, Evan somehow managed to climb out of his crib, and took a nose-dive to the floor. I had just gotten up and was fixing coffee...when it heard a loud "THUD!" and immediate screams from Evan. I ran in there and found him on the floor, luckily his large stuffed dog broke his fall and he wasn't injured. After some thought, we decided to see how he would do in a big boy bed. His crib is a lifetime crib that will convert from crib to day bed to a full sized bed, so I made the adjustments, bought him some "Toy Story" bedding and went from there. The first week he did great. The next week he was a monster. Refused to go to and stay in bed... He liked the freedom of just hopping out of bed and coming into the living room. We tried in vain almost every night for 2+ hours to get him to go to sleep. Once we did, he'd wake up in the middle of the night and roam out into the hallway. The next week, we put the crib back together, but had the mattress lowered to the day bed setting (all the way to the floor). He's gotten back on track with sleeping now. Thank God!

House Hunting

Linda & I have gotten the house hunting bug again. We are desperate to get out of the city, and get into a real house. We both have grown wary of city life. While our condo was great when it was just us and the dog - for a family, not so much. We've looked at several houses around the metro and in good school districts... A house that we can stay in for the next 15-20 years or more. Last week, we looked at three, a few nights ago we looked at four, last night we looked at four more, and tonight we are supposed to look at 5 or 6, possibly. It's exciting and depressing at the same time!

The Cruise

Dunno if I shared it or not, but I won a cruise last March through work... Linda & I have never been on a cruise before, and my luck finally paid off in a raffle they were holding at work. We booked a 7-day, 5-port western Caribbean cruise on Royal Caribbean. We have ports in Labadee, Haiti; Falmouth, Jamaica; George Town, Caymen Islands; and Cozumel, Mexico. We leave next month! I'm counting down the days. This will also be the longest that I've ever been away from Evan since the day he was born. I dunno what I'm gonna do... Thankfully we have Skype and will be in touch to see how he is doing. But, we are gonna relax and enjoy ourselves. Linda has been working some long hours lately, and we both need a break to relax. We haven't explore too much on excursions, but I did talk Linda into going on the largest zipline while we are in Haiti. We are just gonna take things as they come... Another must see for us, at least that I really want to do, is the Mayan Ruins while we port in Cozumel.

I had to get my passport renewed since it expired in 2009. I procrastinated too long on it, and had to send it off with a rush to get it back to me in time. Linda's passport is still in her maiden name though...and I keep bugging her to get it changed.

Seems between both our work schedules, taking care of Evan, and all the other things that life throws at us, we keep steaming along! Hopefully it won't be another 2 months before we update again! At least I'll try and make a conscious effort to update more regularly!

Auntie Em, Auntie Em

Downtown Kansas City - May 24, 2011

So, here we are in the middle of the month of May, and another springtime in Kansas City. Being in the Midwest, and growing up here, supercell thunderstorms and tornados are just a part of life.

When I was little, tornados and severe weather used to freak me out, like most children. But I came to embrace it as I got older. I love thunderstorms and tornados now, for the sheer power and energy contained in them...but I only love them when they do not hurt or kill anyone, or cause any property damage. A dream job of mine has always been to be a tornado and storm chaser. Seeing a tornado is like a rite of passage for those who are born and bred in the Midwest. I've had a few encounters with them, and they are something to behold. But nothing to play around with either.

However, with the recent tragedy last Sunday in Joplin, and the 125 persons (so far) that tornado claimed, it really puts things into perspective...especially since this hit sort of close to home (2+ hours driving to the south of Kansas City). This isn't the first EF5 tornado to strike, and it won't be the last, and it being "the deadliest tornado in US history," it has made me stop and pay attention a bit more.

Before Evan, when tornado sirens were sounded, I did one of two things. I either ignored them completely, or I went outside to see if I could see anything. I think I can count on one hand how many times in my life I've had to seek shelter...and all that was from my childhood when the tornados were too close for my parents' comfort.

Today, though, I was home alone with Evan. Linda was at work and the news cut into programming with a tornado warning for a county south of us. I called my dad to let him know, since it affected where he was...then called and texted Linda since she works near there. She had already evacuated to a stairwell in her office complex. Then the sirens sounded here at home.

I don't get worked up and go into a panic when things like this happen, but with the stories coming from Joplin rolling through my mind, mainly about the heartbreaking story of the 16 month old child (just a few months older than Evan) that was sucked from his mother's grip in Joplin last Sunday when the tornado struck their house...I couldn't help that my heart started to race. I had just laid Evan down for a nap. I paced back and forth, went outside to observe, and debated about going downstairs to our basement.

Linda text me that they were waiting the storm out and a tornado was spotted on the ground about 2 miles from where she was. She then sent a text immediately following that one that I should probably go to the basement with Evan, if I wasn't already there. Evan had been napping for about 10 minutes, and I went to grab him, gathered Truman, and headed downstairs.

Our condo is about 80 years old, with a dark, dingy, dirty, smelly stone basement that reeks of mildew. I was not gonna let Evan down and toddle around on the gross floor, so I held him for the entire time until the storm passed...which was a good 45 minutes. While down there, I started looking around at this basement for a game plan for worst case scenario, running through all possible outcomes. There would be no way we could be all that safe in this old building. It's all made of and has the original brick and mortar... The basement leaks and has glass windows near the ceiling. There is no interior room to take cover in. How would I protect Evan and Truman and myself if our building took a direct hit? There really wasn't a good place for us to hide. Tonight, Linda & I decided that our new place of refuge will be our interior hall coat closet...

Thankfully, we didn't have to worry about that, and I scoured facebook on my phone for updates since we don't have a weather radio. The sirens went off, re-sounded, and went off again for almost an hour...and by the time the all clear was given, my humerus felt as if it was gonna detach from my scapula...holding a chunk-and-a-half of a boy for that long will do it to you.

As I've stated before in prior posts, having a baby really changes everything. If we never had Evan, I would not have even given a thought about going to the basement. But I've got this innocent life I have to protect now, and I will do whatever I can to make sure he's safe, even if I die doing it.

Tomorrow I'm going to scour the city for a weather radio. It's time to buy one, especially with how this tornado season is going...

Happy Mother's Day...to me?

So this post is a little bit late... I wish I was able to spend this past Mother's Day with Linda and Evan, but unfortunately I had to work a 13 hour shift Sunday... Linda got her Mother's Day gifts a bit early from Evan & me...and Linda & I celebrated with a date-night Saturday with dinner & a movie.

It was somewhat amusing when I came into work last Sunday and was greeted by one coworker wishing me a Happy Mother's Day. I chuckled at the thought, knowing they refer to me as "Mr. Mom". Then a second coworker wished me the same thing a few hours later. Then at the end of my shift, a third coworker told me that she wished I had a great Mother's Day. By this point, it was a little annoying... I know they mean well, but I had no desire to steal Linda's thunder. She is Evan's mom. I am his dad. She loves him the way a mother loves her son. She wipes his tears, his butt, his nose, his mouth; she loves and nurtures him; she gave him life for Pete's sake! She pushed his 9 lbs 3 oz, 21 inch body and 12 inches round head out of somewhere I can't even imagine...all in 20 minutes and in 3 pushes. She deserves her Mother's Day wishes...not me!

During Evan's first year of life, it was impossible for us as a couple to get out and enjoy ourselves. I've come to find out this is necessity for new parents. We have promised each other that at least once a month, Linda & I will find a sitter and get out for a date-night. Last Saturday was our date night, and a Mother's Day celebration for Linda. We had gift certificates for dinner and a movie, so ate at On The Border and went to see "Water For Elephants". Good dinner, good movie (if you hadn't read the book recently like me - of course the book is much, much better)...it was nice to get out as just us.

Friday as I was out picking up groceries and waiting for an oil change at Walmart, Evan & I meandered around the store... We passed the floral area, and Evan pointed to some roses and exclaimed "Ga! Ga! Ga!" I took that to mean, "Momma needs those for Mother's Day!" I picked up a photo frame collage for Linda to take to work and a couple cards.

I do hope Linda had a good Mother's Day, even though we hardly got to spend the actual day together. I hope she knows how much she means to me and what an awesome mom she is to Evan.

A Glimpse Into Being a Single Father

Linda left for a business trip to Colorado Springs and Denver this past Sunday...and she will return later this evening. This isn't her first business trip since Evan was born, but it's definitely the longest in more ways than one.

Since I'm pretty much a stay-at-home-dad, and have been since Linda went back from maternity leave last June, I really had no uneasy feelings about her being gone for so long. I am really Evan's primary caregiver, and have dealt with a variety of things with him. Since last June, I've arranged my schedule with work to be able to stay home with him most weekdays, Monday-Friday, from the time he wakes up to about an hour before he goes to bed, which is when Linda usually gets home from work. This works out great, because I am able to break away and get a moment to myself...however I'm usually making dinner while Linda plays with Evan and gets some time with him on her own. He only stays with a sitter a few hours, if need be, if I'm unable to trade off a day. I never thought these past three days would be so trying.

Sunday, after I got off a 15 hour shift, I went to pick up Evan from his Aunt Noreen's since I was working late and Linda's flight was in the evening. By the time we got home, it was 10:00pm, and I didn't have any problems getting him to bed. Even though I was exhausted, I got the breaking news alert from CNN about Osama Bin Laden's death, and stayed up to watch President Obama address the nation, and watch the media coverage...I didn't actually turn off the TV til about midnight. I was up close to 20 hours.

Monday morning, I was too drained to do anything, and hoped Evan would be good for me so I could have a lazy day. He slept til 7:30. He was a bit fussy during the morning, but cheered up later in the afternoon. This worked out perfect for me, and we just had a movie day.

Yesterday, Tuesday, was a completely different story. Evan woke up, screaming (as usual), at 7:15. Normally, after we get him up and change his diaper, we'll let him play in his room by himself for maybe 30-45 minutes while we listen over the baby monitor, while we get things going for the day (e.g. get Truman up, let out and fed; make coffee; go pee; maybe a shower). He usually plays happily with his toys and will let us know when he's ready for us to get him. He didn't want any of this yesterday.

He was in one of those moods where he wasn't happy playing by himself, he wasn't happy with me holding him, he wasn't happy playing in the living room, didn't want to snuggle, didn't want to be read to, didn't want to eat...nothing. He screamed all day, and nothing I did appeased him.

His favorite foods right now are anything that is smothered in peanut butter, or ketchup; bananas or chicken nuggets. I made him a waffle and laid the peanut butter on thick and had a banana for him to eat. Didn't want it. Only wanted to throw it over the side of his highchair. He has been known to gobble a whole waffle down in no time flat.

I tried everything. Since his molars are erupting, I figured he was in some discomfort with those, and gave him a dose of Advil. Usually that sets in and within 30 minutes, he's a happy camper. Nope, didn't work. He was also farting up a storm yesterday, so I tried some Mylicon. Didn't work either. He was just pissed off at the world. Anytime I tried to leave the room to get something on my list of chores done, the moment I would leave his sight, he would break out into a tantrum.

Thinking he was tired, I laid him down for a nap. I had a huge list of things I had/needed to get done around the house (none of which I actually got accomplished, except the dishes). I think he heard me clattering around in the kitchen loading the dishwasher, and only napped for about 30 minutes. I started counting down the minutes until I put him to bed for the night...at noon...still 8 long hours to go before bedtime.

The rest of the day was spent with me trying my darnedest to make him happy with no luck. He didn't want to be read to, didn't want to play, didn't want to eat. Lunch time I gave him chicken nuggets...which promptly ended up on the floor for Truman to scavenge for...

Linda & I tried to FaceTime with each other around the time of his second nap. We had to cut our conversation short due to Evan being a grump. Since it was later in the afternoon, I didn't want him to sleep too long. I dozed with him on the couch for about 45 minutes. I should have let him sleep a bit more, but since I was counting down the minutes to 8 o'clock, I woke him up after about an hour. And talk about the wrath of Evan! He screamed, fussed, cried, fought...I'm sure he cussed me out, if I could only understand baby babble.

Exhausted and hungry, I finally fixed a frozen pizza for myself at about 7:30. And go figure...as soon as 7:30 rolled around last night, he was a happy camper...and demanded bites of my pizza. He ate maybe a third of my slice (with the onions, pepperoni, sausage, and peppers picked off). He then played happily in the living room, toddling all over the house, laughing and in a great mood. I stretched him out 45 minutes past his usual bedtime and he went to sleep with no problem. After Evan was sleeping peacefully, I searched in vain for an adult beverage. I took inventory of our liquor cabinet - two bottles of vodka, two bottles of rum, two bottles of scotch, a bottle of whisky, half a bottle of Cointreau, an unopened 4 year old bottle of Jägermeister, an even older opened bottle of port wine, a half gone bottle of Margarita mix, no red wine, a half drank bottle of some gross white wine in the fridge...then finally I scored! One lonely bottle of Bud Light in the back of the fridge. I promptly popped the cap off and guzzled it down. I think I deserved it!

The only good thing about yesterday was that Evan gave me his first kiss! He leaned toward me and puckered up just a bit... So, I guess that should make up for the cantankerous attitude I had to manage with yesterday.

This morning he woke up screaming at 5:45. I'm pretty sure he was trained to scream by Jamie Lee Curtis. I'm not exactly sure what to make of this screaming. He sleeps through the night, but every morning for the past 2 or 3 months, when he wakes in the morning, he SCREAMS. There's no rousing. Just one minute sleeping peacefully, the next minute screaming like someone's murdering him. Some of my friends have suggested that maybe he has night terrors. But he doesn't wake up in the middle of the night like this...it's been a long time since we've had to get up with him in the middle of the night. I don't know what to make of it. Linda & I used to rush into his room to calm him down. Now we are taking a different approach. Let him scream it out for 5-10 minutes and see if he goes back to sleep. If after 5 or 10 minutes, if he's still screaming, we'll go in to comfort him. This morning, he screamed for 7 minutes and fell back to sleep for another hour.

However, I didn't. I laid in bed for 20 minutes, trying in vain to catch a few more minutes of sleep...but was wide awake. Wouldn't you be after being startled awake by that?

So far this morning, he's playing happily in his room. I am counting down the minutes until Linda's plane lands. These past few days of being a single dad have been exhausting and draining. Just when I thought I could handle it, Evan had to prove me wrong. I did handle it...well...I dealt with it.

Linda's got another business trip in two weeks to New York. Then another one the week after to Houston. Thankfully, those are just overnight trips, there and back.

My props go out to all the single parents out there that have to handle days like these all the time with no help...I really don't know how you all do it by yourself!

"Gogan"

That seems to be Evan's favorite jibber-jabber word. He points to the light on the ceiling. "Gogan!" He points to Truman. "Gogan!" He points to the liquor bottles on top of the curio cabinet. "Gogan!" At first, I thought he was trying to say "doggie", but apparently everything is a "Gogan!" Except the cat. When he sees the cat, he points and exclaims, "Keee! Keee!" I'm assuming that's his way of saying "kitty".

I worried about his speech development, because he never really busted out the "mama" and "dada" words, and he just would babble, but never formed any words. We read to him everyday, almost everyday, and when he plays and points to things, we tell him what they are. He did say a string of "dadadadadadada..." months ago, but I never really counted that as a word, used in the proper context (technicalities, I know). So, I guess "Keee!" is Evan's first word used in the proper context. I'm sure it's only a matter of time and then we won't be able to get him to shut up! And I really need to clean up my language around him. I'd hate for him to be at some family gathering and bust out a string of cuss words that I'll occasionally let slip with him around.

Evan's Birthday Week

Evan had a good 1st birthday! We celebrated a week ago yesterday with several family and friends, then had his own birthday celebration here at home and at Poppie & Gramma Shirley's on his actual birthday! Hard to believe this little guy is already a year old. This past year has been one of the most exciting, uplifting, emotional, stressful and happiest of my life. It has gone by so fast, yet in the same aspect it feels like it has been the longest year of my life! I've learned a lot. A lot about parenthood, babies, myself, patience, and childrearing.

Two years ago, I had no idea how to change a diaper. I had no idea how to bathe or dress a baby. Two years ago, I had no idea if a baby was constipated just by seeing the poop in his diaper. Not that long ago, our condo looked like just a married couple lived in it; the latest Sports Illustrated, People magazine and iPhones on the coffee table, our shelving unit under the TV had pictures, books and DVDs, all the electrical outlets didn't have plastic covers over them, our condo was free flowing and didn't have baby gates or other items to hurdle that blocked access from certain rooms, we had a guest room... Certain items we had before have not survived this past year. The Irish green hand-blown vase Linda bought years ago, from Sheehan's, that used to adorn the dining room was the first to go... Then the stained lead glass fireplace screen was next. All that has changed now. Instead of magazines on the coffee table, it's stacked with kids books - "Green Eggs & Ham", "The Cat in the Hat", "The Tale of Peter Rabbit", "Zoo Picnic", "Goodnight Moon". The shelf beneath the TV is empty...the cable box, DVD player, WiFi, and Apple TV have all been moved to the fireplace mantel. The pictures and other decor have been moved up to higher ground too. All the electrical outlets have been covered with plastic protectors to keep little fingers and toys away. Our guest room/office has disappeared...now cluttered with more toys and stuffed animals. And I wouldn't have it any other way!

Below are some of my favorite pictures from this past weeks celebration in Evan's honor:

What Happened?

And so the temper tantrums begin... I had no idea that an almost one year old could throw a temper tantrum, but they have begun for Evan. I thought those came with the "terrible twos", giving us a whole 'nother year to prepare.

Evan has always been a bit on the high-maintenance side of things...but this past week has been a challenge. This morning he had a meltdown because he ran out of snacks in his snacky-cup...and was quick to inform me (in grunts, screams, moans, cries, and flailing appendages...) that he was out. If I didn't know any better, I really think he was cussing me out... He's been sick...had him at the doctors a few days ago...and I think he may be cutting his molars. I dunno.

He's been very defiant also. He hates going into his high-chair. He hates eating. We've been trying to introduce big boy food - food we eat - but he fights us on it. He doesn't care to self-feed, although we are trying to encourage it, and would much rather throw his food over the side of his high-chair and watch Truman or Frank scramble to get it. It's frustrating...

We let him roam around and explore the living room and dining room on his own. He knows what "no" means, at least I think he does...but when we tell him no when he goes near things he's not allowed to touch or be near (the TV, curio cabinet, lead-stained glass fireplace screen, carbon monoxide tester, Truman and Frank's food bowls, the computer desk, power cords, etc)...and try to distract him with his toys or books...he fights. When we pick him up and try to play with him, he makes a beeline right back to what it was we told him not to play with.

The past couple days, he's been in that mood where he's not happy doing anything. He'll crawl over to me and it seems he wants to be held. So I'll hold him...but then he'll scream and fight. When I put him down, he'll cry and fuss because I put him down. When I try to play or read to him...it's hit and miss.

For the past couple months, Linda has been carrying a heavy work load, working 10-12 hour days. Half the time, I feel like a single father because of Linda's work demands. I feel bad, once she comes home from work, I pretty much pass Evan off to her, not really giving her a chance to take off her jacket or sit down. I really do not know how single parents do it. Don't get me wrong, I love and cherish every moment I have with Evan...just some moments are more challenging than others. This past year is proof that time really does fly by... It only seems like yesterday when we got that positive pregnancy test result - and that was over a year-and-a-half ago!

I'm hoping this is just a phase and his grumpiness will pass. I know it will...but sooner, rather than later.

On a positive note...Linda & I will be taking a cruise this fall, hopefully around our anniversary! I won a cruise through a raffle at work. We are exploring our options...neither one of us have been on a cruise before. We've got our eye on a 7-day Eastern Caribbean cruise - with stops in CocoCay, Bahamas, Charlotte Amalie, St. Thomas, and Philipsburg, St. Maarten. (I'm trying to talk Linda into upgrading to a stateroom with a balcony...) I think we both deserve a much needed, relaxing break! Evan will probably be staying with his Nena and Poppa Gene, or maybe an aunt or uncle, for that week. We still have to iron out those details, amongst other things.

This Past Month

Geez, it's been over a month since either one of us blogged. It really is tough to get a post typed out without interruption when we are chasing around a very active 11 month old boy. But here's a quick update since Evan is still sleeping. (Daylight Savings has thrown him off kilter with his sleeping schedule...)

We have a walker now! Evan took his first steps the day after Valentine's Day. I'm so glad that Linda was home to see him take his first steps. I worried about that since I'm the one home with him most of the time and Linda has been working some crazy long hours at work. I think Evan was saving this momentous occasion for when both of us were home. But yeah, he took his first steps from the coffee table to the couch in that little drunk man fashion. Since then he's been getting really great at this whole walking business and steadying his balance. Pretty soon he's gonna be running, I'm sure!

I would love to brag that his eating is getting better...but it's not. We've tried to introduce him to self-feeding, but it's more of a novelty to him. He does great with snacking on the Gerber Graduates Lil Crunchies, or very small pieces of fruit... But when it comes to meal time and getting what he needs for nutrition...he'd rather throw it on the floor and watch Truman or Frank rush to gobble it up. I'm so nervous though when he does eat regular food...afraid he's gonna choke. I hover over him like a hawk, ready to yank him out and perform the Heimlich...although I've never taken a course on how to properly perform that maneuver. Evan's pediatrician gave me a crash course on how to administer that though...

We are in the process of planning Evan's first birthday party. Hard to believe it's a few short weeks away. We are gonna go with a Dr. Seuss themed party. Can't wait, but I had no idea planning this would be so much work! Also have his 1st birthday photography session scheduled too!

That's about it in a nutshell. It's just difficult to get these plunked out when we are chasing him around the house. He's into everything. Wants to play with everything he's not supposed to... By the time I get a quiet moment when he's napping or down for the night, my brain is too fried to put together a coherent sentence. I will try to do better!

The Worrisome Father

Those who know me, and as I've written before in past blog entries, know that I worry constantly. I can't help it. It's just part of the fiber that is my being. It's almost a disease in and of itself. I promised myself when Evan was born that I wouldn't unnecessarily worry about the things Evan does. Nor would I call the doctor at every little cough or sneeze. And, for the most part, I think I've done good at sticking to my promise. In the back of my mind, I always have these fears and thoughts that I try to keep at bay...things like cancer, autism, Asperger's, SIDS, etc. I try to not let it consume my thoughts, but sometimes I will observe certain things that Evan does that makes those worries surface.

For instance, last night, Evan did something he's never done before...an unusual behavior for him that he's never done before. Something so innocent and probably means nothing, but I couldn't help but worry about it. I recorded this video this morning... See for yourself:

He paced back and forth, from the carpet in the dining room, to the coffee table in the living room... He did the same exact thing last night. Did about 20 laps, then got pissed off when I picked him up and tried to direct his attention elsewhere. While to most veteran parents this may be nothing to worry about...I couldn't help myself. I mentioned it to Linda last night after Evan had gone to bed. She didn't seem too concerned by it, and explained that it was probably some new game he had discovered and a way to keep himself awake. This morning, when he did this again, I almost instantly Googled autism. Then OCD. While this certain behavior doesn't necessarily fit into those symptoms, I texted Linda this video. She responded back, "Call the doctor." Using her reaction as a basis of whether or not I should panic, I asked her if she was concerned too. She responded back, "Just call and ask." So I did.

Evan's pediatrician's nurse then called back a few minutes later...and I explained it. She reassured me that Evan was probably just exploring more and found something that kept him entertained. I explained to her that I worry, sometimes for no good reason, and the thought of autism popped in my head. She asked me if Evan makes eye contact? Yes. Does Evan snuggle? Yes, if he's in the right mood. Questions I found online also do not mirror an autism diagnosis - Does Evan know his name and responds? Yes, for the most part. Does he smile and laugh? Yes. Does Evan express his emotions (happiness, joy, wonder, frustration, anger)? Yes. Does Evan reach out to be picked up? Yes. Evan had his 9 month well-check appointment a few weeks ago, and his pediatrician was pleased with his development (as he has always been), and Evan seems to be reaching all the milestones on time. In fact, Evan is standing on his own now and probably will be walking soon.

I know I'm weird to worry about this, but this behavior seemed to be a bit neurotic to me. Is it normal? While I felt a bit better after talking to the nurse, the thoughts still linger in the back of my mind. It's just I want Evan to have the best chance at life...and I can't help but watch over him like a hawk. However, I'm not the type to sneak into his room at night and check to make sure he's breathing, or jump at every peep he makes when he's sleeping. But it doesn't help that I'm suffering a bit from cabin-fever (it's been another brutally cold, crappy and snowy winter here in Kansas City...) I don't want to be that parent that hovers over their child, I just want to be sure to protect him. I know there's nothing I can do if he were to develop any of these horrible afflictions kids sometimes get. I just pray we don't have to deal with these things.

Papa Bear Instinct

You know, it's funny being pretty much a stay-at-home dad. I love being able to take care of Evan. I love the bond that has developed between him and I. I love being able to show him new things and teach him about the world. I'm especially excited about this coming summer...since he'll be a bit more sturdy to travel and should be ready to venture out of the house and we can explore.

I've got a job that allows me to arrange my schedule and lets me have this time with Evan. Linda, on the other hand, works in the corporate world and has the usual 8a-5p Monday through Friday job. It only made sense for me to stay at home with Evan once Linda went back to work after maternity leave. It's funny though...lots of my friends and coworkers shower me with praise for being a stay-at-home dad. I'm not doing anything spectacular...if the shoe was on the other foot, would they shower Linda with the praise I get? I know it's still a rarity for the dad to be the primary caregiver, but this trend is growing...

Recently I discovered an area stay-at-home dads group that gets together twice a week for play dates, and every month, they have a "dads night out" which is where we leave the kids at home with the wives and just the dads meet up for drinks, movies or whatever. I'm excited about this group, that has about 70 total members, and it gives me the chance to get out of the house and Evan around other kids...helping both of us socialize. It looks pretty cool...every Wednesday they meet over at a group member's house during the late morning to afternoon. Then every Friday they have, what they call "Adventure Fridays", which is an outing of some kind...whether to just the park or museum, or to a civil war battlefield or the zoo, or whatever. I contacted KCDADs organizer, Mick, last week and he invited me out to Fun Run last Friday.

I dunno why or when it started, but when I'm thrown out of my comfort zone and meeting new people, I get nervous and a bit anxious. I never used to be socially retarded, but over the past few years, I developed this weird uncomfortableness or awkwardness around new people. I hate it...but figured I'd overcome my insecurities and try this group out.

Evan & I show up and quickly meet up with Mick. There's about six or so other dads there with their little ones...ranging in ages from 3 months to about 4 or 5 years old. Everyone seemed to be really nice and welcoming. Mick gave me the overview about the group...and another fellow dad, Shannon, invited me out for the upcoming Dads Night Out next week. I'm still rolling around in my head if I should go or not.

Another fellow dad (I've forgotten his name) warned me that his son, who is about 2 or 3 years old, is the most difficult one of the entire group. He explained that his son has always been difficult since he was a baby...but he seemed to be doing okay that day. Evan seemed to love the interaction with the other kids and Fun Run. They had an area designated for 3 and under with large colorful toys and other cool stuff. Evan was fascinated by this one large wheel thing that had balls inside. However, he encountered his first "bully" (if a child that age can really be a bully?)...the aforementioned child. He was on the other side of this large wheel, playing with the paddle that hits the balls around. He saw Evan staring in wonder at all the bright cool colors...and apparently he didn't like that. He stormed around the corner, covered Evan's eyes with his hands and yanked Evan backwards and hit him on his head. It happened so fast, and I was right there with Evan the whole time... I snatched Evan up and the other kid's dad came over and scolded him for it. He asked if he knew why he got into trouble and made his son apologize to Evan. It then happened again, Evan was still playing, and he got mad that Evan was still there, and came back around and tried to hit Evan on the head again. His dad was there and stopped him before it happened.

Right before we left, Evan was playing with some other large toy that had cylindrical spinning blocks with letters. The same kid was still playing with the large wheel nearby. He glanced over at Evan and me...and came over and got in the way of Evan playing and pushing him out of the way. That's when my papa bear instinct came out. I told him to stop, and that he could play and share, but Evan was there first and not to ever touch or hit Evan again. He stopped and went back to playing with another toy. My blood was about to boil.

I hope that this child isn't gonna be a problem for Evan. His dad knows that he has issues, and is working on correcting them. I just hope for my sanity and Evan, this kid stops what he's doing. This isn't gonna stop me from going to future playgroups...

But in all, I think this group will be a good thing for the both of us...and I look forward to what's in store!

Gonna Have To Suck It Up

Anyone who knows me, knows my disgust and the pure hatred I hold for winter, cold weather and, more than anything, snow and ice. Over the course of the past couple days, the Kansas City area got 4.8 inches of snow. While this isn't the snowpocalypse the media makes it out to be, it still pisses me off. It isn't anything like the Christmas Blizzard of 2009 (when Linda was pregnant with Evan), when we got 9 inches of the white shit Christmas Eve into Christmas Day. Yes, it's winter. Yes, it's January. Yes, it's Missouri... I can't change it, but I can't help but be annoyed by it. I grew up here, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. But...that is gonna have to change, I know, for the sake of Evan. I figure this winter is my last winter that I have to piss and moan about it. Now that the snow is gone, we have to deal with bitterly frigid temperatures and wind chills. Today, the wind chill is supposed to be -10°F. Blegh.

View from our front porch this morning

Growing up, though, it didn't bother me. But working in the travel industry as I do, and have for the past almost 13 years has really made me see how much snow and ice is a pain in the ass...and really screws up things. Once November hits, I wish we could hibernate...or better yet just spend the winters in Caribbean or Hawaii.

As a kid though, I loved playing in the snow. It's always more fun as a kid. Get the day off school, hang out with your friends, go sledding, build snowmen, snowball fights, hot chocolate, watch movies... Even though when Evan gets old enough, I'm gonna suck it up and not show my pure loathing of this crap to Evan. He deserves to have fun like I did when I was a kid... But, Linda will hear all about it. I'll have to vent to someone.

Busy Busy!

It's been a busy past couple months and I'm glad Linda updated any readers we have, or may have left. This poor blog has been neglected too long. When we aren't busy, I just have no energy to post anything. Most days I'm chasing this very curious 8 month old boy around the house...seems he wants to get into everything he's not supposed to...

It's been a busy past couple months with all the running around, holidays and top that off with several doctors appointments both for Evan and for us. He got a cold right before Thanksgiving, then again right after Christmas that turned into a respiratory infection. He's still getting over that. I had taken him into see the doctor New Year's Eve and saw another doctor in our pediatrician's practice. He was concerned with his "barking" cough. He didn't exactly diagnose him with croup, but only said it sounded "croupy". He put him on prednisolone to help him kick the cough. It's sounded much better over the past couple days.

On top of Evan's sicknesses, Linda & I have both battled crap. I came down with strep throat last week...I hadn't had strep since I was in maybe middle school! Linda came down with tonsillitis then right after I got over strep. I'm hoping all this crap passes soon!

All in all, though, Evan had a great first Christmas! I can't wait to see what 2011 has in store for us. Happy New Year to all of you! Below is a video of Evan dancing to South Park's "Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo"...a bit late, I know, but hopefully you'll get some laughs out of it. I've been meaning to put this up for some time now, I laughed so hard I was in tears when I saw it! Maybe that is just me? I recorded it maybe a month ago... Enjoy!

Evan's First Halloween (and memories)

It really is true that a baby changes everything. Halloween has always been one of my favorite holidays, but this year was definitely different. When I was growing up it was always a fun and exciting day. This Halloween was no different. But over the years, as with any adults, holidays become more like just any other day...and they tend to lose the magic. Having Evan has changed that. This was the first year I carved pumpkins. It had been, I'm guessing, since 1995 when I carved the last one. I loved doing this as a kid.

My sis & I carving pumpkins - About 1980

I love the countdown to Halloween...all the scary movies that are on TV. Linda is not a fan, and refuses to watch these slasher flicks with me. I love scary movies! The other night, I had DVR's the original "Halloween", and began watching it. I had recorded it off AMC, so it was censored and had commercial breaks. I told Linda that, but she refused to watch it and went back to our room to watch TV. I can't wait for Evan be old enough to watch these with me. Linda has her reservations about him watching scary movies at a young age. However, my parents loved scary movies and didn't censor what we watched growing up. In fact, when we got our first VCR in the early-mid 1980s, the very first movie we watched as a family on that new fangled contraption was "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre". It didn't scar me for life. We were a family that loved scary movies. I remember seeing "Poltergeist", "A Nightmare on Elm Street", "Jaws 3D", "Friday the 13th" and others in the movie theater with my family. Didn't bother me... I didn't have nightmares and didn't grow up to be a mass murderer. So we'll see how Evan does as he grows up.

When I was a kid though, my mom dressed me as a clown numerous years in a row for Halloween night, that is until I protested and got to choose my Halloween costume. She had made the clown outfit herself, therefore wanted to get good use out of it. Understandable, but I hate clowns to this day. Not only because for the first few years of my life I had to dress in that damn clown outfit, but also because I have a fear of the damn things. I blame the scene from "Poltergeist" for that. (My only adverse effect of watching that movie.) I promise that I won't do that to Evan.

My sis as a witch, me as the clown - About 1980

For Evan's first Halloween, we dressed him in a blue three-eyed, four-armed, pot-bellied monster thing. We dubbed the costume a "Mutated Cookie Monster". We headed up to our hometown, Excelsior, to trick-or-treat with our 4 year old nephew, Brayden, who went as Woody from "Toy Story". Linda's brother and sister-in-law still live in Excelsior, and in fact, in the same neighborhood that I grew up in.

Evan did great! Although he was gypped at a few houses, most people ogled over him and gave him treats. Granted, he won't be able to eat any of the candy, but Linda & I are divvy up the loot. I called dibs on the KitKats and Crunches. Linda's not so keen on that idea.

As we strolled around my childhood neighborhood, I had a feeling of nostalgia overcome me...it really was bittersweet. So much of the neighborhood I spent the first 20 years of my life in had changed. Old neighbors had moved on or passed away...some still remained. Growing up on Virginia Road and in that neighborhood was a trick-or-treaters dream come true in the 1980s. It was a young neighborhood then, and practically every house gave out candy and there was no need to hit any other neighborhood. But today, things had changed. So many houses were dark...either their residences empty (in today's economy) or weren't participating. The neighborhood had gotten old. Not a lot of young families living there anymore...especially on my old street.

I talked John & Steph (Linda's brother & sister) into heading down to my house. I was eager to see if whomever lived in my old house now would be giving out candy...but no such luck. I'm hoping next year. Even though my parents sold that house 6 years ago, it feels like decades ago. Lots has changed since then. That will always be my house. It's nothing special...just another cookie-cutter suburban house built in the 1970s. As much as I hated living there when I was the 'rebellious' teen...what I wouldn't give to see the inside of that house again.

I couldn't help myself but stare at my old house...and remember Halloweens-past...and all the other holidays and good memories I had there. I miss that house. Linda said it even made her reminiscent of the times spent in that house.

I hope Evan is as sentimental as me. I hope that one day I can point that house out to him and tell him that is where his dad grew up...and him feel the same fascination about that house as I did when my dad showed me the house he grew up in.