Dear Evan, this is to officially serve notice that your 40-week lease on my uterus has expired. Please vacate the premise immediately. Failure to do so will result in your forcible removal by way of a miracle drug known as pitocin on Wednesday.
We have a much more suitable and spacious place for you to stay. You even have a dog (and a psycho cat, but you don't have to worry about the cat) who will be your best buddy. His name is Truman, but you can call him Bubba or Bo-bo.
There is still time for you to let us do this "the easy way." Love, Mom.
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