Poor Nugget...

...has a hypochondriac as a father. What can I say...always have been and probably always will be. I promised myself that once Linda became pregnant, I would quit smoking. So I attempted to kick the habit, but cheated here and there since August (when we found out Nugg was on his way), but haven't had a cigarette in over two weeks now...after having smoked a pack a day for the past 12 years. I know I've done horrible things to my body. I've been managing the cravings and withdrawal and am proud to say that I think the worst of the "nic-fits" are over. However, I have a guilty conscience, like a "smoker's remorse" of sorts, of having smoked all those years has caught up to me, I fear that it's too little, too late. I don't know where or why I feel that way... Maybe it's my way of making sure I never pick up another cigarette...like my brain's way of scaring the bejesus outta me?

I think it's all in my head, but for the past two weeks I've felt like crap. I've felt different sensations in my throat over the past two weeks and have poked and prodded all over my throat to see if I feel anything abnormal...but nope, not a thing. In my job I have to talk a lot, and somedays I have to project my voice so people can hear me...on those days my voice feels tired and sore at the end of the day. All these thoughts flood my mind and make me think of the worst...not to mention trying to self diagnose via the internet with WebMD. Linda tells me that I need to stay off that website because it makes you fear the absolute worst. That website has me fearing everything from an array of cancers to Parkinson's Disease (what Michael J. Fox has) to ALS (Lou Gehrig's Disease) to dystonia (what the Virginia cheerleader had after getting a flu shot that was in the news recently) to a number of debilitating diseases. For the past week, I would fall asleep okay only to wake up after about four hours and my mind would be racing. Imagine Linda's irritation the other night when I woke up and couldn't fall back to sleep because I was having some kind of anxiety attack and my legs wouldn't stop twitching, and I got up at 1:30 AM to Google it.

We are in between primary care physicians at the moment...our old doctor just retired and we haven't researched a new doctor yet. We had been referred to a few doctors in our insurance network and I call to set up an appointment with them. Since we were new patients to them, the earliest they could get me in would have been February 23! To a hypochondriac such as myself, that's too late...in my mind I could be dead by then! At Linda's urging to quell my mind, I went to the Walgreens Take Care Clinic, where nurse practitioners check you out and send you on your way. I showed up at our local Walgreens first thing on Tuesday morning. I told her my symptoms, she gave me a once over...looked down my throat and found nothing...then told me that she thought I was still going through nicotine withdrawal. She also recommended a nearby primary care physician that accepts new patients almost immediately. I called and set up an appointment just 30 minutes later! She seemed very friendly and I really liked her! She gave me a generic physical...she, too, looked down my throat and saw nothing...felt around my neck, nothing...tested my swallow reflex, nothing...poked and prodded all around my abdomen, nothing...listened to my lungs, they sounded clear... So who knows? Linda, my friends and my coworkers believe that is just me being nervous and first-time dad jitters about Nugg's arrival in a few short months. However, since some of my family members have over- and underactive thyroids, she sent me to get blood drawn to test for that, and test my liver and kidney enzyme functions and have my cholesterol checked. I am feeling better, but am still very anxious and will be until I get the results of that test next Monday. She gave me a low dose perscription to help with anxiety which will help me sleep at night. Last night was the first time I actually slept through the night and got a good 8 hour sleep in over 5 days...thanks also to the makers of Tylenol PM. So, our faithful blog readers, please say a prayer that my bloodwork comes back okay and that this feeling is all in my head. In the meantime, I've made a promise to Linda and myself to stay off WebMD. It is the devil incarnate.

On to a lighter topic, Linda & I have settled on a theme for Nugg's room! We decided to do the epitome of a boy theme, "Frogs, Snails & Puppy Dog Tails", using Truman as our muse. The bedding we really liked and registered for is pictured to the left. However, the walls will be a robin's egg blue and we'll use a chocolate brown for the accents with the drapes and area rug. Linda has already ordered this area rug from Overstock.com for his room. Hopefully it'll tie together well. We are still undecided on a name though...

It's the 22nd week of pregnancy! That means Nugg is about the size of a spaghetti squash, which is about 11 inches. He weighs just about a pound now, and is now looking more like a miniature newborn. His lips, eyebrows and eyelids are becoming more distinct. His nipples are starting to sprout too! His tooth buds are forming under his gum line as well. His eyes have formed, but his irises (the colored part) still lack pigment. I'm hoping he doesn't inherit the shit brown color I have...but gets the crystal blue that runs in my genetics. He is able to perceive light and dark now too. Lanugo still covers his body and the deep wrinkles in his skin, which he'll keep until he starts to fatten up. Inside his belly, his pancreas - essential for the production of important hormones - is developing steadily. Nugg should be hearing pretty much all that Linda says and should be hearing my voice now too. I have to remind Linda that she has little ears listening when she goes into a cursing fit - usually when she's driving. His fingernails have now fully formed, and in some cases, babies might need a nail trimming soon after they are born. Hair is still sprouting on the scalp - although it too lacks pigment and would be bright white. Nugg is sleeping in regular intervals, usually for about 12 to 14 hours a day...and Linda can feel him kick, she claims he is most active in the evening and right before she goes to bed. He is also developing his sense of touch - in fact his grip is well developed. Since there isn't much to grab ahold of in the womb, he might be grabbing the umbilical cord.