Do you really want to know?

Ever since my stomach popped out, everyone - and I do mean EVERYONE - I see, run into or otherwise ride in the elevator with, has to ask me, "So how are you feeling?"

I think I am asked this on average of 20 times per day.

Of course, I just smile and say, "just fine." But one of these days...

Picture it: Engineering Company World Headquarters 2010
11-month pregnant lady steps onto elevator with middle-aged engineer. He's wearing a white, long-sleeved button up collared shirt with a sweater vest over the top. His shoes are worn out brown loafers and he is wearing black pants.

The engineer looks at the pregnant lady, smiles nicely and says, "So how are you feeling?" No, good mornings or afternoons. No talk about the weather. Also, keep in mind this is a socially-awkward engineer. They usually don't make eye contact or speak to anyone they are not familiar with. Up until this moment, a pregnant woman posed no threat to him.

11-month pregnant lady says, "Well, if you really want to know, my back hurts like I've been chuckin' TVs all day and forgot to lift with my legs. My hips feel like the only thing holding them together is the skin around them. I ate too fast this morning, so I puked in the parking lot and now need to buy breakfast since I am hungry again. I'm tired because my pillow fort/mountain didn't live up to high expectations and I ended up tossing and turning all night. Plus, I'm trying to drink coffee only on days when I really need it. Did you know it is a natural and light laxative for some people? The caffeine can get you moving, but the coffee can REALLY help get things moving if you know what I mean..."

Middle-aged engineer exits elevator and never speaks to any strangers again for the rest of his life. Pregnant lady goes to cafeteria for coffee and breakfast.