Papa Bear Instinct

You know, it's funny being pretty much a stay-at-home dad. I love being able to take care of Evan. I love the bond that has developed between him and I. I love being able to show him new things and teach him about the world. I'm especially excited about this coming summer...since he'll be a bit more sturdy to travel and should be ready to venture out of the house and we can explore.

I've got a job that allows me to arrange my schedule and lets me have this time with Evan. Linda, on the other hand, works in the corporate world and has the usual 8a-5p Monday through Friday job. It only made sense for me to stay at home with Evan once Linda went back to work after maternity leave. It's funny though...lots of my friends and coworkers shower me with praise for being a stay-at-home dad. I'm not doing anything spectacular...if the shoe was on the other foot, would they shower Linda with the praise I get? I know it's still a rarity for the dad to be the primary caregiver, but this trend is growing...

Recently I discovered an area stay-at-home dads group that gets together twice a week for play dates, and every month, they have a "dads night out" which is where we leave the kids at home with the wives and just the dads meet up for drinks, movies or whatever. I'm excited about this group, that has about 70 total members, and it gives me the chance to get out of the house and Evan around other kids...helping both of us socialize. It looks pretty cool...every Wednesday they meet over at a group member's house during the late morning to afternoon. Then every Friday they have, what they call "Adventure Fridays", which is an outing of some kind...whether to just the park or museum, or to a civil war battlefield or the zoo, or whatever. I contacted KCDADs organizer, Mick, last week and he invited me out to Fun Run last Friday.

I dunno why or when it started, but when I'm thrown out of my comfort zone and meeting new people, I get nervous and a bit anxious. I never used to be socially retarded, but over the past few years, I developed this weird uncomfortableness or awkwardness around new people. I hate it...but figured I'd overcome my insecurities and try this group out.

Evan & I show up and quickly meet up with Mick. There's about six or so other dads there with their little ones...ranging in ages from 3 months to about 4 or 5 years old. Everyone seemed to be really nice and welcoming. Mick gave me the overview about the group...and another fellow dad, Shannon, invited me out for the upcoming Dads Night Out next week. I'm still rolling around in my head if I should go or not.

Another fellow dad (I've forgotten his name) warned me that his son, who is about 2 or 3 years old, is the most difficult one of the entire group. He explained that his son has always been difficult since he was a baby...but he seemed to be doing okay that day. Evan seemed to love the interaction with the other kids and Fun Run. They had an area designated for 3 and under with large colorful toys and other cool stuff. Evan was fascinated by this one large wheel thing that had balls inside. However, he encountered his first "bully" (if a child that age can really be a bully?)...the aforementioned child. He was on the other side of this large wheel, playing with the paddle that hits the balls around. He saw Evan staring in wonder at all the bright cool colors...and apparently he didn't like that. He stormed around the corner, covered Evan's eyes with his hands and yanked Evan backwards and hit him on his head. It happened so fast, and I was right there with Evan the whole time... I snatched Evan up and the other kid's dad came over and scolded him for it. He asked if he knew why he got into trouble and made his son apologize to Evan. It then happened again, Evan was still playing, and he got mad that Evan was still there, and came back around and tried to hit Evan on the head again. His dad was there and stopped him before it happened.

Right before we left, Evan was playing with some other large toy that had cylindrical spinning blocks with letters. The same kid was still playing with the large wheel nearby. He glanced over at Evan and me...and came over and got in the way of Evan playing and pushing him out of the way. That's when my papa bear instinct came out. I told him to stop, and that he could play and share, but Evan was there first and not to ever touch or hit Evan again. He stopped and went back to playing with another toy. My blood was about to boil.

I hope that this child isn't gonna be a problem for Evan. His dad knows that he has issues, and is working on correcting them. I just hope for my sanity and Evan, this kid stops what he's doing. This isn't gonna stop me from going to future playgroups...

But in all, I think this group will be a good thing for the both of us...and I look forward to what's in store!

Gonna Have To Suck It Up

Anyone who knows me, knows my disgust and the pure hatred I hold for winter, cold weather and, more than anything, snow and ice. Over the course of the past couple days, the Kansas City area got 4.8 inches of snow. While this isn't the snowpocalypse the media makes it out to be, it still pisses me off. It isn't anything like the Christmas Blizzard of 2009 (when Linda was pregnant with Evan), when we got 9 inches of the white shit Christmas Eve into Christmas Day. Yes, it's winter. Yes, it's January. Yes, it's Missouri... I can't change it, but I can't help but be annoyed by it. I grew up here, but it doesn't mean I have to like it. But...that is gonna have to change, I know, for the sake of Evan. I figure this winter is my last winter that I have to piss and moan about it. Now that the snow is gone, we have to deal with bitterly frigid temperatures and wind chills. Today, the wind chill is supposed to be -10°F. Blegh.

View from our front porch this morning

Growing up, though, it didn't bother me. But working in the travel industry as I do, and have for the past almost 13 years has really made me see how much snow and ice is a pain in the ass...and really screws up things. Once November hits, I wish we could hibernate...or better yet just spend the winters in Caribbean or Hawaii.

As a kid though, I loved playing in the snow. It's always more fun as a kid. Get the day off school, hang out with your friends, go sledding, build snowmen, snowball fights, hot chocolate, watch movies... Even though when Evan gets old enough, I'm gonna suck it up and not show my pure loathing of this crap to Evan. He deserves to have fun like I did when I was a kid... But, Linda will hear all about it. I'll have to vent to someone.

Busy Busy!

It's been a busy past couple months and I'm glad Linda updated any readers we have, or may have left. This poor blog has been neglected too long. When we aren't busy, I just have no energy to post anything. Most days I'm chasing this very curious 8 month old boy around the house...seems he wants to get into everything he's not supposed to...

It's been a busy past couple months with all the running around, holidays and top that off with several doctors appointments both for Evan and for us. He got a cold right before Thanksgiving, then again right after Christmas that turned into a respiratory infection. He's still getting over that. I had taken him into see the doctor New Year's Eve and saw another doctor in our pediatrician's practice. He was concerned with his "barking" cough. He didn't exactly diagnose him with croup, but only said it sounded "croupy". He put him on prednisolone to help him kick the cough. It's sounded much better over the past couple days.

On top of Evan's sicknesses, Linda & I have both battled crap. I came down with strep throat last week...I hadn't had strep since I was in maybe middle school! Linda came down with tonsillitis then right after I got over strep. I'm hoping all this crap passes soon!

All in all, though, Evan had a great first Christmas! I can't wait to see what 2011 has in store for us. Happy New Year to all of you! Below is a video of Evan dancing to South Park's "Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo"...a bit late, I know, but hopefully you'll get some laughs out of it. I've been meaning to put this up for some time now, I laughed so hard I was in tears when I saw it! Maybe that is just me? I recorded it maybe a month ago... Enjoy!

Warrior Evan versus the Evil Dr. Sleep

Sorry, once again, for the prolonged delay between posts. I have that rare moment of tranquility right now. Evan in his bouncer - and not mad for being in there while I am in plain view - and Truman cleaning whatever remains of breakfast might be off of his hands.

Evan's first Christmas was all we could hope it would be. He was very good at family, church and with more family. You would think the three massive family gatherings in two days would have sent him over his threshold, but he was a very good little trooper. He showed off his mad crawling skills and newly found beginner's walking skills (he can walk when holding on to someone's hands).

I joked on Facebook that he got a 157 new toys. It's only a slight exaggeration. Some of the toys are a little too advanced for him and will be better suited when he gets a little older. So we have put those in a tub for now. His Aunt Noreen and Uncle Anthony bought him a blow up Penguin. The kind you can hit and it always pops back up. He was afraid of it at first, but seems to be doing well with it now. His favorite new toys are a new cell phone, a toy with a steering wheel that makes car noises and the "interactive zoo*."

*My public service announcement for the year - LISTEN to the sounds, songs and noises a toy makes before purchasing it. If you can't imagine being in the same room with those sounds going on OVER AND OVER AND OVER again, chances are the parents of the child you are buying it for also do not want to be stuck in a room with it. Granted, Brian and I get as much amusement out of it now as Evan does, making up alternative lyrics to some of the songs...

TOY SONG: "I'm a very friendly parrot, chatting out loud for all to hear."

LINDA's VERSION: "I'm a very scary parrot..." You all know my hatred/blind fear of birds. Let's face it. No parrot is friendly. Why teach a baby to approach something that could claw his face off and bite his fingers in two? Birds are SCARY!

TOY SONG: "I'm a big and tall giraffe, stretching so high I touch the sky!"

LINDA's VERSION: "I'm a big dumb tall giraffe..." It did actually sound like he said "dumb" instead of "and."

We also have dances for the songs. The one for the penguin goes "I'm a tiny little penguin, waddling here, waddling there." To which I waddle from side to side when listening to.

Evan is back to sleeping pretty well again, which is a relief since Brian and I have both been sick. He FIGHTS falling asleep, though. Yesterday, I incurred a wrath so great that it could have only come from someone related to me because Evan knew I was trying to get him to fall asleep and take a nap. He screamed bloody murder for a solid 45 minutes while I tried rocking him, jumping up and down, playing with him, walking around the house for him until my arms where about to fall off* and I just gave up and put him in his crib. He was asleep 5 minutes later.

*Evan was also sick this week and Brian took him to the doctor. He weighs 21 pounds, 3 ounces. Pick up a giant sack of potatoes and carry that around for a good 1/2 hour and see how your arms, shoulders and upper back feel. You also need to mechanize that sack of potatoes because Evan squirms, fights, wiggles and does everything in his power to try and get you to drop him (thank God I haven't done this!).

With naps, he also wakes up MAD. Like he's pissed that we would allow him to fall asleep. He wakes up screaming and it usually takes a good 2-3 minutes to let him know he's awake now and it's time to play.

Last night, I gave him his bottle. He was so tired he would lift his head up and then it would crash back down on my arm, but he still fought. As he lay in my arms in his room, he started this pathetic "AhhhhhUhahhhhhUhahhhhhh" moaning. It was as if he kept making noise, he couldn't fall asleep. To know if he is asleep you have to watch the hands. He keeps one up and as he drifts off, the hand comes down to rest on his tummy. It was like he had some kind of electric shock on his jammies that jolted him awake every time his hand came down.

Again, we fought. Again, it resulted in giving up and just putting him in his crib with him falling asleep before I got out of the room. I'm beginning to think that he just needs to be free to roll and flail about. If he can't move, he can't sleep. The other theory is that wrestling with me just wears him out so that when he does finally land on the crib mattress, he has no more energy to protest.

On occasion, he'll still try. He'll get up on all fours and crawl to the front of the crib, but it's like his neck can no longer support the weight of his head and he just collapses, rises, then collapses again in a deep sleep that will usually last for the next 11-12 hours. When he will rise for a new day of battling against the Evil Dr. Sleep. My poor little warrior just doesn't know that that's a battle he will lose every day.

In the photo below:

Evan is about to figure out the hazards of opening presents. This photo was snapped just before the box slid on the wood floor, causing little E to face plant. He was not happy. Brian took this photo and I was recording on the video camera. He face planted and I snapped the video camera shut and reached for the little boy, but Brian already had him. Regardless, we had a very Merry Christmas. One face plant in what, I'm sure will be thousands.

Evan examines the goods before opening up his presents... All of these are his.

Frankie vs. the Family

We have a psycho cat. His name is Frankie. Frankie is a high-maintenance diva and wants things done his way. He is the feline version of Stewie from Family Guy and tries to kill me on an almost daily basis.

We have a sweet bulldog, Truman, who isn't so great at figuring out things. He's not dumb, he just can't outsmart the evil genius cat.

Pre-Evan, the second bedroom in our condo was the guest room and, when unoccupied, was Frankie's room. Well, once we found out Evan was on his way, we reclaimed the guest room and forbid Frankie from going in there. Plus, we took away his bed. This led to a few weeks of waking up each morning with a "present" laying outside of the litter box. Frank's way of letting us know how much he appreciated being evicted from his favorite afternoon napping spot.

After a fairly rough week with Evan - he had been battling a cold and a blocked tear duct again - he was back to sleeping through the night. Saturday morning, I woke briefly at 6:00 am and went back to sleep. Remember the saying, "Sleep when the baby sleeps?" This mostly applies to opportunities to sleep in on Saturday morning.

Truman sleeps in bed with us and is always the vigilant protector of the house. Any strange noises are scared away by a fierce growling and wuffing. Truman also is a fan of sleeping in and frequent naps.

Well, Frankie does not believe in sleeping in. He believes he is entitled to our room after 7 am and does everything he can to wake us up and get us moving out of the room so he can take it over. He use to come in and just yap - loudly. But after being nailed a couple of times with a swiftly thrown slipper, he changed tactics.

Now, he sits on the outside of the bedroom door and scratches on it - even though it is never fully closed or latched. This scratching wakes up Truman who gets upset and starts barking, which wakes everyone else up - including Evan. So, we all get up and start our day.

In retaliation, I am considering shutting the door behind us on our way out so the cat can't go in there. However, this will likely lead to more "presents" on the floor, so I am conceding victory for now. Damn cat.

The Rookie and The Natural

First, apologies for not writing in FOREVER. I don't have any real good excuse. I just didn't feel like writing and didn't really have anything I thought was relevant enough to share.

Well, Evan is starting to move. He is successfully army crawling now and just a big ol' wiggle worm in general. Over the weekend, I was trying to clean up a catastrophically bad diaper. But Evan is very much in explore-and-see-and-touch-and-crawl-and-move every chance he gets mode. Every time I laid him down on the changing table he would flip over and try to dive off. I had to use the straps to restrain him, but that just kept him from rolling off the table.

He's also teething. He's waking up several times a night and Brian and I are both exhausted as we have not had to build up an immunity to nights of interrupted sleep yet. I know, Evan has spoiled us. And we both have been battling colds.

So, I'm getting very frustrated. You have to pin the shoulders down. If the shoulders turn, the whole body turns. But you can't change an EPA Superfund Site, hazardous waste zone of a diaper with one hand. I thought, maybe this is a learning opportunity. Evan needs to learn the word "no." He didn't. So we fought and wrestled all day on Saturday and all day on Sunday when it came time to change the diapers, leaving us both frustrated and irritated.

I came home from work on Monday and Brian was changing Evan. He was not fighting or wrestling with him - and Evan was laying perfectly still and happy on his back. No wiggling. No protesting. He was a perfect little angel boy.

Brian gave him a toy to play with while changing him. Distraction vs. Command and Control. So simple. But this just goes to show that while I am learning how to be a parent, Brian seems to be a natural. Good thing one of us is!

But he is also your typical Dad who is proud of his boy for things that Moms would not be proud of. For example. When I was wrestling with Evan and trying to get him cleaned up, I had him uncovered for far too long. I heard a bzzzzzzz noise and looked up from the poop. He was peeing. The pee flew through the air a good 3 feet and was bouncing off his bedroom door. When Brian returned home later that night, I told him about the fiasco and he held up Evan, impressed with his long-distance peeing capabilities and said, "Good job, Buddy!"

Boys.

While traveling for work last week, Brian sent me a picture. It's a group shot of all my favorite fellas.

Evan's First Halloween (and memories)

It really is true that a baby changes everything. Halloween has always been one of my favorite holidays, but this year was definitely different. When I was growing up it was always a fun and exciting day. This Halloween was no different. But over the years, as with any adults, holidays become more like just any other day...and they tend to lose the magic. Having Evan has changed that. This was the first year I carved pumpkins. It had been, I'm guessing, since 1995 when I carved the last one. I loved doing this as a kid.

My sis & I carving pumpkins - About 1980

I love the countdown to Halloween...all the scary movies that are on TV. Linda is not a fan, and refuses to watch these slasher flicks with me. I love scary movies! The other night, I had DVR's the original "Halloween", and began watching it. I had recorded it off AMC, so it was censored and had commercial breaks. I told Linda that, but she refused to watch it and went back to our room to watch TV. I can't wait for Evan be old enough to watch these with me. Linda has her reservations about him watching scary movies at a young age. However, my parents loved scary movies and didn't censor what we watched growing up. In fact, when we got our first VCR in the early-mid 1980s, the very first movie we watched as a family on that new fangled contraption was "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre". It didn't scar me for life. We were a family that loved scary movies. I remember seeing "Poltergeist", "A Nightmare on Elm Street", "Jaws 3D", "Friday the 13th" and others in the movie theater with my family. Didn't bother me... I didn't have nightmares and didn't grow up to be a mass murderer. So we'll see how Evan does as he grows up.

When I was a kid though, my mom dressed me as a clown numerous years in a row for Halloween night, that is until I protested and got to choose my Halloween costume. She had made the clown outfit herself, therefore wanted to get good use out of it. Understandable, but I hate clowns to this day. Not only because for the first few years of my life I had to dress in that damn clown outfit, but also because I have a fear of the damn things. I blame the scene from "Poltergeist" for that. (My only adverse effect of watching that movie.) I promise that I won't do that to Evan.

My sis as a witch, me as the clown - About 1980

For Evan's first Halloween, we dressed him in a blue three-eyed, four-armed, pot-bellied monster thing. We dubbed the costume a "Mutated Cookie Monster". We headed up to our hometown, Excelsior, to trick-or-treat with our 4 year old nephew, Brayden, who went as Woody from "Toy Story". Linda's brother and sister-in-law still live in Excelsior, and in fact, in the same neighborhood that I grew up in.

Evan did great! Although he was gypped at a few houses, most people ogled over him and gave him treats. Granted, he won't be able to eat any of the candy, but Linda & I are divvy up the loot. I called dibs on the KitKats and Crunches. Linda's not so keen on that idea.

As we strolled around my childhood neighborhood, I had a feeling of nostalgia overcome me...it really was bittersweet. So much of the neighborhood I spent the first 20 years of my life in had changed. Old neighbors had moved on or passed away...some still remained. Growing up on Virginia Road and in that neighborhood was a trick-or-treaters dream come true in the 1980s. It was a young neighborhood then, and practically every house gave out candy and there was no need to hit any other neighborhood. But today, things had changed. So many houses were dark...either their residences empty (in today's economy) or weren't participating. The neighborhood had gotten old. Not a lot of young families living there anymore...especially on my old street.

I talked John & Steph (Linda's brother & sister) into heading down to my house. I was eager to see if whomever lived in my old house now would be giving out candy...but no such luck. I'm hoping next year. Even though my parents sold that house 6 years ago, it feels like decades ago. Lots has changed since then. That will always be my house. It's nothing special...just another cookie-cutter suburban house built in the 1970s. As much as I hated living there when I was the 'rebellious' teen...what I wouldn't give to see the inside of that house again.

I couldn't help myself but stare at my old house...and remember Halloweens-past...and all the other holidays and good memories I had there. I miss that house. Linda said it even made her reminiscent of the times spent in that house.

I hope Evan is as sentimental as me. I hope that one day I can point that house out to him and tell him that is where his dad grew up...and him feel the same fascination about that house as I did when my dad showed me the house he grew up in.