A Boy & His Dog

One of the questions I've been asked over and over again by friends, family and coworkers since Evan has been born is, "How's Truman taking him?" I have to laugh at myself because everyone must have known how much we spoiled and adore Truman. Really, Truman was like our first child...

If you've seen the movie "Marley & Me", you may remember the scene where Owen Wilson's character comes home after his wife, played by Jennifer Anniston, has their first child, and has a talk with Marley about the changes. I admit that I, too, had a similar talk with Truman the day after Evan was born when I went home to grab some sleep, shower and change. And Truman has been such a good dog. While he hates not being the center of attention, he's willing to share it with Evan. There's been times when we've had to shoo Truman away, gone past his usual dinner time because we've been wrapped up with caring for Evan, or realized we haven't let Truman out for several hours... Truman takes it all in stride, and I couldn't have asked for a better response from him. He's such a good dog.

For the first few days after Evan was born, Tru didn't really know what to think of him. But as the days turned to weeks, and weeks into months, Truman has been intrigued with Evan. He loves to be near him and loves to give him kisses.

Of course, at first Evan had no idea Truman existed... But now that Evan has taken notice of the world around him...he's absolutely fascinated with Truman. My morning routine with Evan is usually a bottle on the couch, with Truman napping at the other end...but he inches ever so close to me as I'm holding Evan...and sneaks in a few kisses every now and then. At first, we were protective of Evan around Tru and would only allow him to kiss his feet. Every now and then, Truman would swipe the back of Evan's head as we were holding him. While we still keep a close eye on Truman around him simply because he's a cumbersome 65 lb. bulldog, we've been a bit more relaxed.

As you may have read before, most mornings I take Evan into his bedroom where we have his dance party. Truman has to follow us back there and make sure everything is okay. I think this has mostly to do with Tru wanting to be near the Boy, but also because Truman must be around people and hates being left out. At night when we are trying to feed Evan his last bottle before bed, we have to coax Truman out of the room. He doesn't want to leave!

Truman also likes to 'alert' us when the Little Man is getting fussy. If we have Evan napping in his swing, and he starts to rouse...he'll make a few fussy noises. Truman is typically on the couch with us...and the swing is across the room. Tru will hop down off the couch and go over to check on the Boy, then pace back and forth in front of his swing if Evan keeps fussing then come over and whine to us about it.

One other thing I find absolutely amazing is after we have put Evan down for the night, occasionally Linda & I will share a bottle of wine or a few beers out on our front porch. Truman will tag along with us and we have the baby monitor between us in case the Boy stirs. The baby monitor is pretty awesome...and if Evan so much as hiccups, Truman again will alert us... He'll jump up, stare at the baby monitor, pace again, and try to alert us that we must go check on Evan.

The other night while I was at work, Linda was playing with Evan on the couch...and of course again, Truman was there on the couch too. Since Evan has now noticed this large goofy looking dog, he giggles, coos and laughs at him. Linda took it one step further and reached out Evan's hand to pet Truman...she reported that Evan squealed with delight. She had never heard him make that sound before. Truman then immediately started to lick his hand and this really got Evan tickled.

They are really gonna be a pair...and I couldn't have asked for anything more. But But what would you expect after Truman was voted as "Kansas City's Best Dog" in September 2008 by the Kansas City Star... He will always be our 'baby'.

Figuring things out

Sorry it's been awhile since my last post. I know I've kept half a dozen of you out there waiting on pins and needles. :)

Here goes... When I was pregnant, I would just about give myself an anxiety attack with all the "what ifs" and questions that would pop in my mind. And its never just one question at a time. It's 400 hundred all at once as your mind betrays you and sends you in to a complete meltdown. A friend of mine is going through this stage right now.

It's so easy to get overwhelmed. There is more information out there than anyone could ever read in a nine-month span. And, lets face it. The first three months, you feel like death so you don't really care about - or have the energy to do - anything else. During the last three months, you have a baby bouncing off your internal organs and it is impossible to fall asleep. And, when you do sleep, it's in 2-3-hour increments because you wake up having to pee, get a glass of water (because you've already downed the 32-ounce glass on your nightstand), chew up some TUMS, or all of the above.

So the second trimester is really the only time you can get stuff done before the baby arrives.

Looking back, I kind of chuckle at some of the things I was so concerned about then. Here are a few questions I had back then followed by answers that were hard learned by experience.

Question: How will I know when it is time to move up a diaper size? I seriously worried about this.

Answer: There are several ways you know, but the most telling is when the diapers are no longer capable of holding in the mess your baby puts out. When the diaper failure rate increases, its time to move up a size.

Question: How will I know if my baby is just upset or if something is really wrong? I worried about being the over-hyper parent that called the doctor every time my baby sneezes. Now, I know that Brian is this person, not me. :)

Answer: If he doesn't have a temperature or blood or green slimy stuff coming out of any orifice, he's probably fine and is just grumpy or has gas.

Question: How will we keep his nails trim so he doesn't claw up his face?

Answer: VERY CAREFULLY. You have to have the hands of a surgeon and usually wait until the baby is sound asleep before trying this out. Some people bite the nails off. I'm not a fan of this approach. I don't like biting my own nails. To keep from shaking with the nail trimmer, avoid caffeine for at least four hours prior to the operation.

Also, many PJs come with little flaps that fold over the baby's hands. Use them. Evan someone managed to get his hands free anyway, but they did provide his face with a little bit of a reprieve.

Question: How do I know what stuff to get and what to avoid? Do you really need EVERYTHING on the baby registry checklist?

Answer: You can read a crap ton of books, or just use some common sense. Or, even better, just ask people who have kids. They are always happy to dole out advice on what to get and what not to get. They will give you different answers, and what you need is usually going to be a little bit of a combo of what all your different friends recommend.

Question: How will we teach our baby to sleep through the night? The gift of sleep is not to be over-rated. Remember the saying, "If momma aint happy..."? Well, its very true.

Answer: Routine. Routine. Routine. We also recommend the "Baby Wise" book. It is a little bit more militant (and by militant, I mean it is the boob nazis' handbook) than what Brian and I do, but if you need to figure out structure, that's a good starting point. It also helps to have a big baby who just naturally sleeps for a long time.

Question: What the hell is a receiving blanket and why, according to the Babies 'R Us registry check list, do I need five of them?

Answer: I still haven't figured this out. Family and friends will give you more blankets than you can ever possibly imagine using. I don't know what differentiates a receiving blanket from a regular blanket. Someone told me that a receiving blanket is one that the doctors can use to wrap the baby in when he/she is first born, and then you have it as a keepsake. No thanks. I've seen what babies are covered in when they are first born and all blankets used to wrap of newborns should be incinerated as medical waste.

Question: How do I know what kind/type of bottles to buy? I just about started crying in the middle of Target when Brian and I were attempting to fill out our registry and there were no less than eleventy billion different brands, types and sizes to choose from.

Answer: Just pick one or two. Just buy one package. Try it out. If it works, go get more. If not, try something else.

Question: Why does my baby seem to smile and laugh every time I ask if he pooped? Evan will be sitting on our lap and then we smell something that isn't so fresh. I'll ask him, "Did you poop?" If he smiles slyly, the answer is usually yes. If he just looks at you blankly, then you just need to wait for it...

Answer: I'm not sure that this would be a very common question. I think Evan thinks its funny that he pooped because he Brian's son (and mine, too!).

That's all the Q&As I can think of now. I have been thinking about a post-pregnancy post, detailing the aftermath of giving birth - what Hollywood doesn't tell you. But, like I said, it is the year of the baby for my friends and family (the only people who ready this), so I'm going to wait on that. Maybe a good memory post for Evan's first birthday... all my friends babies will be born by then.

Here's a picture of Evan at his 3-month birthday:

Evan's 1st Fourth of July

The Fourth of July has always been one of my favorite holidays, next to Christmas and New Year's Eve. As a kid, we'd always celebrate at home with our own fireworks display in the backyard. My parents would buy a few sparklers, snakes, tanks, those weird chicken things that would shoot out balls of fire from their ass (to give the appearance they were laying eggs) and screech like a chicken, some snappers, and for the grand finale mom & dad would buy a few fountains that showered out colored sparks... We always celebrated (modestly) at my house as a kid. We lived in a town that fireworks were illegal, but we did this in moderation. I remember one year when my dad bought a rocket. Not really knowing how far it'd go and the outcome of it, he set it off in the backyard. It shot probably about 200 feet in the air and exploded in a shower of sparks. Being maybe 9 or 10 years old at the time, I thought it was amazing. I still remember my dad wincing at the sight, afraid he disturbed our neighbors.

In years since, in my adulthood, I've been able to celebrate the 4th of July is some amazing locations...Boston, Washington DC, Philadelphia. After Linda graduated college, she went on a 20-city-20-week promotional tour for Better Homes & Gardens...setting up displays in different malls throughout the country. Since I work for an airline, whenever she was in a city that my airline flew to, I'd fly out to visit her for a few days and see the sights. On July 4, 2001, she was in Hartford, CT, and I flew out to see her. One of the guys on her tour was a local from Boston. He had a friend that lived in a Brownstone right on the waterfront of the Charles River. Each year, the Boston Pops puts on quite the show...also including several other musicians (that year was Cyndi Lauper)...and they set off a huge fireworks display set to patriotic music, with the grand finale set to Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture". We sat on top of this Brownstone apartment, above the massive crowds below and watched the amazing display. That had to be the best 4th of July I've ever had.

Jesse, Holly, Ellen, Nicole, Mark, Linda & me on top of the Brownstone apartment

One of my favorite pictures of Linda taken at an afternoon BBQ in Boston on July 4, 2001

Linda & me chilling on a hammock in a backyard in Boston.

The following year, Linda & I were visiting friends in Washington DC. While we didn't really see much of the fireworks over Capitol Hill, we were at a bar in Georgetown. We were a bit too far away from the display, but we were able to briefly see the display up the Potomac River. All I have to say about that trip is "lee-mone-ade"! (Inside joke that few will catch.)

Chad, Mike, Ellen, me, Deanna & Linda at Mo's Bar in Washington DC

Me at the Lincoln Memorial - July 5, 2002

A few years later, my company was opening up service to Philadelphia and asked for employees to volunteer to walk in their annual parade through the streets of Philly. I volunteered Linda & me, and we were able to stay in downtown Philly and see the sights. That night we watched the fireworks go off over the Philadelphia Museum of Art (the place where the "Rocky" stairs are...which I wanted to reenact but it was too damn hot).

Some of my coworkers and me getting ready to walk in the Philly parade - July 4, 2004

Me on the "Rocky" stairs - Philadelphia Museum of Art

Linda at the Liberty Bell

Walking in the parade down Benjamin Franklin Parkway toward the Philly Museum of Art

Linda & me with Ben Franklin

Last year, Linda & I celebrated at home in Kansas City with their cool fireworks display over the Missouri River.

I couldn't figure out how to flip this video right-side-up, but this is the fireworks display from last year. Just turn your head to the right.

So as you can see, we've celebrated and experienced Independence Day all over the country. Each 4th of July has it's own memories. This year, however, we had to celebrate a day early. Due to my work schedule (I had to work a double at that), we went over to a friend's house to grill out. We were out kinda late, and Evan did remarkably well! It was great to hang out on their deck...and Evan just chilled out in his travel swing! It was just a low-key, chill kinda 4th of July. But we did end the night with an interesting game of "I Never...". Is it weird that thirtysomethings were playing this? This is Evan's first, and I'm hoping that he will be able to celebrate in some cool locations throughout his life...

Evan & his dad

Mother & son

Evan's honorary Aunt Jen

Evan's honorary Aunt Abbie

Evan's honorary Aunt Darcy

Evan's idea of chilling out

It's funny though, how much your perspective changes after you have a child. Our neighborhood is in downtown Kansas City. It's a historic neighborhood that was built at the turn of the 1900s...so the houses are very close to one another. Well, on the actual 4th of July, we had a bunch of idiot neighbors setting off several fireworks...and not just the run-of-the-mill bottle rockets, but near professional grade loud boomers that shot in the air and showered sparks down. As soon as we put Evan down for the night, the neighbors started with these fireworks... I worried about it waking Evan up, however he did well. For once, Mother Nature worked in our favor...no more than 5 minutes after our neighborhood lit up with fireworks, we got several torrential downpours of rain. This worked for a bit, but our neighbors still wanted to celebrate and decided to wait...til 2:00am to set of their stash. Hoping next year will be a bit more active...Evan should be old enough to enjoy fireworks, somewhat.

Dance Dance Revolution!

Since I am home with Evan all day throughout most of the week, I have to think of things to stimulate and keep him active. While there are lots of suggestions I get, by far, Evan loves his daily, what I call his, dance parties. Usually every morning I will get him up, get a new diaper on him, get a few ounces of formula down him... Then I'll read to him until he loses interest and wants something more active... So I'll take him to his room, lay him on down on his play gym mat, and just put my iPhone's iPod on shuffle and find some music for him to dance along to... The song he reacts the most to is what I dub "Evan's Song-Of-The-Day" and post the YouTube video to my Facebook.

Yesterday, Evan really loved Salt-N-Pepa's "Push It". He really got a kick out of it. He was laughing, dancing and giggling...or maybe he was laughing at my dance moves? I really wasn't trying to dance like Salt-N-Pepa with him... Okay, well, maybe just a little!

Here's some other songs that he's gone nuts for:

Van Halen's "Jump": (I didn't dress him in torn spandex though...)

The remix of Elvis Presley's "A Little Less Conversation": (He's working on his Elvis hip shake!)

Bill Haley & His Comet's "Rock Around the Clock": (He likes oldies!)

Ike & Tina Turner's version of "Proud Mary": (I'm trying to help him perfect his Tina Turner shimmy!)

I'm wondering what today's song will be!

Back to work

Last week was my first week back to work. Everyone kept asking, "Isn't it sooo hard?" And the truth is, it wasn't so bad. If all things were equal and I had to choose between working and spending the day with Evan, I would probably try to find some happy medium where I could do half and half.

I wish I had more time to spend with Evan. This is one area where his advanced sleeping skills kind of work against us. I don't get to see him before I leave for work. I sneak into his room and whisper to him, but he's asleep. I'm not going to go in there and wake him up just to satisfy my own selfish needs. Maybe, in a way, that makes it easier. If I fed him and then he fell back asleep in my arms (what he always does after the first meal of the day), I'd never make it to work. Since Brian has been able to arrange his schedule where he is home most of the week, I also have piece of mind knowing he's in good hands all day long and not with people we don't know very well.

On the other hand, it is nice to be around adults again and have conversations that move beyond the letter, "Ohhhh.*"

*Evan has started interacting with us and whomever he is around. He'll stick out his tongue and if you do it back at him, he will smile and laugh and just think it is the most awesome thing in the world. My sister said that tongues are the first muscle babies can control so when they use it and you use it, its almost like you are communicating with them. Also, babies love to say, "Ohhh." So if you say it to Evan, sometimes he will repeat it back to you with delight. Trust me, it's super cute.

I think I was more nervous about going back to work because I wasn't sure what to expect. There were a lot of organizational changes that happened while I was away. Many roles changed. We are even going to be moving our offices at some point.* But my position didn't change at all. In fact, my direct supervisor and myself probably had zero change. Most of my changes happened pre-maternity leave when I was able to "hand-off" a lot of legacy responsibilities that didn't align with what my particular role is now. Now I get to do what I enjoy doing and not spend so much time on stuff that I don't find all that challenging or interesting.

*In my five years with the company, our division/department has always been on the 7th floor (top floor), which is great because we are close to all the big dogs. During those first five years, we played magical cubes 3 different times, when they "realigned the organization" and then decide that the seating chart needed to be updated. Now, we're going to move down to the 2nd floor. The silver lining is we will probably be among the first groups to try out the new workspaces that will be part of our overall building renovations.

So the actual work part. The first two days it was hard getting into the swing of things because everywhere I went people wanted to know about Evan and ask, "Isn't it SOOOOOOO hard coming back to work?" I would gladly show pictures of my baby boy and just nod in agreement with their question. I'm not sure what they were looking for when asking me that question. Did they think I might burst into tears? Anyway, I was able to go through 2 1/2 months worth of mail (all crap), clean my desk, determine the strategic locations of the pictures of Evan I keep on my desk* and book an interview with some of our experts with a writer for the Wall Street Journal,** in addition to a few other tasks. Not too shabby.

*I wanted pictures of Evan to be within easy eye sight. So I have three on my shelf just to the right of my computer and a fourth picture is to the left. That way, if someone comes into my cube and sits down, I can see my baby boy while we are having a conversation.

**Fair disclosure. I didn't cold call the WSJ and set this up. The writer's editor suggested she contact us for a waste-to-energy story she is working on. My boss' boss was out of the office on vacation Monday. On Tuesday he came back and asked what I was working on and I joked, "I set up an interview with the WSJ on my first day back, what do you plan to do today?" We all had a good laugh.

I did miss Evan's last appointment. Part of me was glad that I didn't have to watch them give him those shots and part of me was very sad that I wasn't there for my son during the most traumatic experience of his short life. I think I teared up a little bit when Brian told me about it.

Yesterday, when I came home from work, he was in his swing just smiling and laughing away. I wanted to hold him, so I picked him up. He did NOT want to be held at that time. So, another lesson learned. Don't wake a sleeping baby and don't pull a happy baby out of his/her swing no matter how much you want to hug and kiss them.

Better Late Than Never!

I've been working on this a good long while...

Below is a multimedia montage I made of Linda's pregnancy, and then pics immediately following Evan's birth meeting some of his family members...

Linda wants me to warn those of you that may get queasy or are currently pregnant. Please watch this at your own risk. These are just pictures and some video, nothing gruesome, however there is live audio of Evan's birth playing in the background. I wanted to preserve that, but tried to drown out the screams as best I could with music and some editing. Enjoy!

That Was Rough

Today was Evan's 2-month checkup with his pediatrician. I've dreaded this day since he was born. This is the big appointment when they start the first round of vaccinations. Two days ago was Linda's first day back to work since March 31, when she began her maternity leave...so I had to go it alone.

I got Evan up this morning and he was his happy-go-lucky self that he is in the morning. He was laying in his crib, awake and just kicking around. He looked up at me and I smiled to him a "Good Morning Little Man!" He sheepishly looked back at me and smiled. We played a game of "oohh's & ahh's" and got a new diaper on him. We went into the living room and I got 6 ounces in him... Truman was sitting at the other side of the couch, closely watching us...and trying to inch ever so close to sneak in a kiss on Evan. Evan got a kick outta this and watched Truman very intently and would laugh and giggle at him. Little did he know what was coming in just an hour...and that thought broke my heart.

I arrived at our pediatrician's office with Evan in his car seat hooked on one arm, and a diaper bag slung over the other, my sunglasses hanging onto my t-shirt collar. The office staff checked me in and told me to have a seat. I joined about 4 other moms in the waiting room...and I could tell most of them were expecting Linda to come around the corner. Nope, just me. As much as I wanted Linda to be there...it was just me. Dunno why it's unusual to see just a father with his infant at things like doctors appointments? I've noticed it a lot since Evan was born...even if I just take him to PetsMart or the grocery store by myself.

They called us back and we marched behind the nurse to the room. She told me to undress Evan so she could get his measurements. I was eager to see what he weighed now. He hasn't been to the doctor since he was about 2 weeks old...and that was eight weeks ago! I stripped him down, wrapped him in the blue pee-pad blanket, and carried him to the scale. When he was 2 weeks old he weighed 9 lbs. 2 oz....today he weighed 13 lbs. 10 oz.! Back in April, he measured 21¼ inches long, now he is 23½ inches! His huge head went from 15 to 17 inches! Evan then promptly peed on the blue pee-pad blanket in my rejoicing and we had to change him out...

We went back to the room...our doctor came in. Told me that he was very pleased with Evan's progress both growth and socially. He checked him over...answered a few of my questions...said that Evan was a very healthy, happy and social boy. He said he was making eye contact and flashing smiles. He also explained that Evan is gonna be a big boy with growth like this...especially with Linda & me as parents. I'm average for a guy, 5'10"...and Linda is taller than average. Plus his Poppa Gene (Linda's dad) is 6'3"...and his Uncle John (Linda's brother) is just as tall. Evan is in the 75th percentile for growth. Our doctor went on to say that if Evan were to continue to grow at this rate, we'd have a 290 lbs., 6 foot 8 inch tall, three-year-old who demands M&Ms! Can you imagine trying to potty-train that?! He then explained the shots he was about to receive. My heart jumped. I've never been anxious about shots...never really put much thought in it. Now, though, that I've got this little life to look after and protect...I didn't want my little guy to be in pain.

Our doctor left the room and the nurse came in shortly after with her tray of torture. She first gave Evan an oral vaccine...and then told me to lay him down on the cot. She then prepped him for the shots. I held onto his little hand. He looked up at me with his huge puppy-dog-brown eyes. She stuck him with one needle...and I could tell the precise moment when that needle penetrated his chunky thigh. He winced, then turned Coke-can red, then screamed and cried real tears (he normally doesn't)! I'm not a softy by any means, but I'm not a robot either...and it was every thing I could do not to cry for him. I did tear up...and I had a moment there were I couldn't speak to reassure him...afraid that my voice would crack...an obvious sign that I was choked up. I quickly regained my composure and tried to comfort Evan. I will never forget that look he gave me. Two more shots and more screams and tears...and all was done. Amazingly I got Evan diffused in no time...and by the time I was getting him dressed the tears had stopped. By the time I got him in his car seat, he was smiling and cooing!

Lots of my friends who have kids told me going in that it's much worse on the parents that it is on the baby. All too true!