An A-Bomb and a Heart Attack

This has not been an easy day. Evan had a bit of a milestone... his first atomic diaper blowout. A few hours later, Frankie Cat almost caused me to have a heart attack and he is now officially put up for adoption. Let me know if you want him. You won't have to buy any supplies, we'll give you everything you need.

A-Bomb

When we went to our first pediatrician appointment with Evan, the doctor told us that infants don't necessarily poop every day so don't let that worry you. He warned, however, that if they do go a day or two without going "number 2," it will be catastrophic when they do go.

For the past few days, Brian and I started to worry that Evan was a bit constipated and were even thinking about calling the doctor's office tomorrow if it didn't improve. This morning, our worries were relieved by a massive bowel movement that makes all other movements look like informal social gatherings.

I fed Evan at about noon. He promptly fell into a milk coma so I took him back to his room and laid him down in his crib so I could start some cleaning. At about 1:00 pm, I heard him start to cry. When I went back there, I picked Evan up and noticed the huge wet/brown spot on the sheet. His back felt wet... no it was covered in poo.

I started to take him over to the changing table but stopped when I realized that would just get that dirty too. So I put him down on the clean side of the crib to strip him from his clothes. Thankfully, he was in a snap-up onesy so I didn't have to pull it over his head. Otherwise, I think I would have grabbed some scissors and cut him out of it. Yes, it was that bad.

I removed the onesy and the diaper but this mess was too big for mere baby wipes. I grabbed a clean diaper and used that to wipe off as much of the mess from his back and butt as I could. Then, I went into the kitchen and cleared out one side of the sink and turned the water on to get it to an appropriate baby washing temperature. Next, I went back, grabbed Evan (who had now peed all over himself, the crib, the wall, the nightstand...) and took him into the kitchen. With one arm I held him (like a football, only with his head in my hand) while I used the other to grab the sprayer and shower him off. Once all the visible soil was eliminated, I grabbed the baby soap and rubbed it over his back side, rinsed with the sprayer and flipped him over and did it again.

Not putting him on the changing table was a good idea because now I needed to towel off and dress my wet (and now screaming) baby. Once dried and dressed, I transferred him into the living room where he had his swing. I strapped him in there and went and got his play pen out and set up, then I went back into his room and grabbed the soiled sheets and onesy and all the other clothes and promptly through them into the washer with my soaked and soiled clothes. Baby poop stains almost instantly, so I went ahead and threw some Oxyclean in there with everything. Once it stops washing, I'll just run it again with regular baby detergent so no risk of allergic reactions. Go back into Evan's room to wash down crib, wall, nightstand and anything else he managed to mark.

Ok. Evan is still screaming. Go back into the living room and turn on some music. Thank God for Apple and iTunes and to us for making Evan's very own playlist. Baby boy loves "Chicken Fried" by the Zac Brown Band. So we danced, he mellowed out and we chilled together on the couch until he needed to be fed again at 3 pm.

The Heart Attack

After I fed Evan, I put him into his play pen. He was wide awake, but I needed to get his stuff in the dryer and our house was considerably messy, so I decided I needed to work on that. I had just cleaned off of the coffee table to dust it when I turned and saw the $#%^ cat jump from the dining room table into the playpen. It looked just like something you would see on the Discovery channel. The lion stalked a gazelle baby and then leaped out of the tall grass and onto the unsuspecting baby. That's exactly what Frank did. He didn't just casually jump in there. It was a straight up pounce.

I promptly screamed, "CAT!" and just as quickly as he was in the play pen, Frank was out of it and down the hall. The five feet that separated me from the play pen was covered in one large step as I quickly grabbed Evan to check him over. He was fine, thankfully. If I could move faster and had scratch resistant arms, I would have been tempted to throw that cat out into the rain. For now, he is holed up behind our bed.

Frankie is usually a pretty good cat. He uses his liter box and likes to sit on laps - so long as he is the one that decides its lap time (a trait that is pretty common among cats). If you want him, he comes with a covered liter box, a full box of liter, a full bag of cat food and a nice large storage container for the cat food (to keep from attracting ants). Let us know if you are interested. We're serious. If you are looking to adopt a cat, please contact us.